Our Story

This is the story of how Jesus and I came to be friends. It's a story of deep love and much patience (His of course). 

I grew up a Christian. For the most part I did all the right things and was a "good" person. But, I didn't know Jesus yet. I was generally worried and anxious, but didn't know any other way. I prayed and read the Bible as good Christians do. I had some great emotional highs, but still didn't know Jesus. I went to prayer conference, where my lifelong passion for prayer began. I had tons of spiritual experiences, and I grew, and I did the best I could. But there was no power in my life. I felt dead inside. 

In college I made the life-changing decision to spend a year as a student missionary. Wow. (I have a whole other blog on that topic). There I got some big glimpses of God's power, and He started to become more real to me. Big prayers were answered before our eyes, mountains were moved, and victories were won. But, as I think often happens, mountain tops can quickly give way to deep valleys. Things went downhill and I came back to the states sick, hurt, and confused. This was a really hard period in my life, but what Satan meant for evil, God used for good (isn't He awesome?!)

There's a song that says, Lord make me empty, so I can be filled. During this time God began to strip me of all the things I had been depending on instead of Him. It was NOT pleasant (still isn't). So I fought of course, but my dear Jesus is so patient, He continued to draw me to Himself. And one day, with some help from a good friend, I met Jesus, I mean really met Him, for the first time. Life changed, it took on new meaning and purpose. I couldn't believe I had been a Christian my entire life to that point, without knowing Jesus. I hadn't known I could have an actual relationship with Him.

So I began seeking Jesus in earnest. He had to teach me to just say "yes Jesus, I choose You". He had to teach me to endure pain, even learn to embrace it (the process of getting a new heart can be excruciating). But He is such a loving and merciful God, and He sent many special blessings and joys during this time as well. He's always seeking my best :)

One step forward, three steps backward. He continued (and continues), to weed out the poison in my life, preparing my heart to receive Him more fully. I had to get to the place where there was no one but Him to depend on. I struggled and pleaded with Him to take away my heart of stone and give me a heart of flesh. His answer? Keep looking to Me. Just like Peter, if you take your eyes off Me you will sink. He began to life up my head, and give me a hunger for the Word of God like I'd never had before. Scripture came alive. I began to really believe and suddenly there was power! He taught me how to go forward and conquer, rather than my usual practice of retreating in fear. I'm learning to trust, to depend, and to rest.

And the new heart that I had pleaded for? It happened much quieter than I expected, but one day He just did it. My heart was new and I was changed. I could do nothing but fall at His feet and worship. He did it, He did it all.

The story continues, there are ups and downs, but we are on this journey together, Jesus and I. It's all for His glory, and out of His deep love. He's promised to continue His work until the day I get to see His face (soon!). As I trace our story, and see how He's pursued me, as I experience His grace and mercy personally, I live to testify: God. Is. Love.

Behold your God!

In this age of information overload, I am easily overwhelmed. So many words, so many thoughts and ideas and opinions.

In this world of evil and pain I am easily overwhelmed. There is so much need, so many unanswered questions, and I am so weak. What am I to do?

In the Christian journey I can also be easily overwhelmed. All the “short-cuts” and “detours” distract me from the narrow way.

So I set out to find the crux of the matter. Amidst the chaos and confusion, what one truth stands above everything else? What is the main point?

Through my searching God has led me to this concept – Behold your God.

Other phrases include: Look to Jesus! Keep your eyes on the Light! Look and live! Behold the Lamb of God!

               For my Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have

eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day.” (John 6:40 NIV)

We commonly hear that it is by beholding we become changed (see 2 Corinthians 3:18). What exactly does this mean? The story of Isaiah presents a good illustration. (See Isaiah 6 and Prophets and Kings ch. 26). The land is in turmoil, the people are filled with evil, and God calls Isaiah to be His voice. Isaiah shrinks from this awful task. But here’s what happens:

1.      First of all, it is God who calls Isaiah, and then reveals Himself

2.      Isaiah beholds God’s holiness and great majesty and is overcome with a sense of his own unworthiness.

3.      He humbles his heart and finds full forgiveness and freedom

4.      He arises a changed man

5.      He now quickly answers God’s call and serves Him faithfully, boldly denouncing sin and uplifting the Name of the Lord.

Too often I try to start with #5 and serve God in my own strength. Or I get stuck on #2 and wallow in my own unworthiness. But scripture is clear, when we truly behold God for who He is and accept it (remembering that He has graciously revealed Himself to us through Christ Jesus), then we will be changed. And we have the responsibility to share this with the world.

“Those who wait for the Bridegroom's coming are to say to the people, "Behold your God." The last rays of merciful light, the last message of mercy to be given to the world, is a revelation of His character of love. The children of God are to manifest His glory. In their own life and character they are to reveal what the grace of God has done for them. (Christ’s Object Lessons p. 415, emphasis mine). 

It is the character of God that is at stake today. He has been misrepresented and misunderstood. Satan seeks to hide Him from us. Focusing on our problems or our weakness and faults will only result in sinking lower. Like Peter walking on the water, the moment we take our eyes off Jesus, we will fall. But what a merciful God we have, He says “whoever comes to me I will never drive away.” (John 6:37)

What is it that causes confusion, chaos, pain, and emptiness? It is a misunderstanding (or lack of knowledge) of God’s character of love. The Love of Jesus is the answer to all our questions and doubts and fears. It may sound a bit simplistic, but in reality it’s a million times deeper than the deepest sea.

“The love which Christ diffuses through the whole being is a vitalizing power. Every vital part--the brain, the heart, the nerves--it touches with healing. By it the highest energies of the being are roused to activity. It frees the soul from the guilt and sorrow, the anxiety and care, that crush the life forces. With it come serenity and composure. It implants in the soul, joy that nothing earthly can destroy,--joy in the Holy Spirit,--health-giving, life-giving joy.” (The Ministry of Healing p.115)

God is calling to each one of us. If we behold, keep our gaze focused on Him, and choose to believe and live in His love*, then, and only then, can we testify to the world of the amazing transformation worked by the power of Infinite Love. 

*check out http://hesaidgoblog.org/2014/07/29/pleasing-god/ for a beautiful perspective on what pleases God

And Yet....

I was reading through the Psalms and noticed this "and yet" pattern that intrigued me.

Basically, the author starts out lamenting some wicked thing, or expressing his fear or anguish, and then says, "and yet"....God is good, God is faithful. Here's a few examples:

Psalm 12

No one can be trusted, people are lying left and right. And yet.....God's Words can be trusted implicitly.

Psalm 10

The wicked are taking advantage of the poor and setting themselves up as more important than God. And yet....God is the rightful King forever and one day the wicked will be no more.

Psalm 9

People are being oppressed. And yet...The Lord is a place of refuge and safety for all who come to Him.

Psalm 4

People continually pray for blessings and more blessings, never satisfied. Yet...The Presence of God in our lives is what brings real joy, more joy than we could even imagine.

Psalm 73

The wicked seem to prosper. The author becomes bitter and "stupid". Yet....He says, God is always with me, that's the only important thing - He is the strength of life. The wicked will receive their due.

Psalm 106 and 107 are full of the "and yet" stories of God and His people. Time and time again, the people rebel, and yet God loves them still. The people complain, but God keeps His promises. God's people have faced much hardship, yet God has lifted their spirits, given them strength to endure, and offered eternal rewards.

We are all sinners, and yet Christ died for us.

There's a lot of awful, scary things happening in our world today. But there is hope! God is still God, and He is still good, and He is still present. Not only do we have hope for the future, but we can have hope right now.

I just needed that reminder this week :)

Sheep Positions Available

Job Description

Sheep

Job Title: Sheep

Reports to: the Shepherd

Compensation: Eternal Life

Benefits: Everything you need

Job Summary

The job of a sheep is to follow the Shepherd and stay close to Him. Period.

Duties and scope of responsibility 

- Responsible for doing whatever the Shepherd says

- Should acknowledge their role as a sheep (not very smart)

- Should not try to go their own way

- Depends on the Shepherd for every need, big or small

- Watches the Shepherd closely and learns His ways

- Helps other sheep (or not-yet sheep) get to know the Shepherd better

- Becomes close friends with the Shepherd

- Loyal to the Shepherd

Skills required

Candidates for this position are accepted "as is". It will be the Shepherds responsibility to fit them for the job. The only requirement is a willing and open heart. Even then the Shepherd can offer training.

Working conditions

By the world's standards, the working conditions can often be very poor. Position requires a long journey, climbs over steep mountains and through dark valleys. However, the Shepherd will always be leading and there is no need to fear. He will carry when necessary and knows the way quite well. He has promised green pastures and still waters. He also restores souls.

This job is particularly for the faint of heart, who feel the need of their Shepherd. All applications accepted. The job will require death to self, but will provide life everlasting and unquenchable joy. The Shepherd loves His sheep fiercely, and will adopt as His own all who wish it. 

Apply now

Exhilarating Fear

I've never been the extreme sports type. Jumping out of airplanes or riding roller coasters has never been my thing either. But there's been a few things in my life that have given me that same type of adrenaline rush - fear mixed with excitement, the possibilities vs the POSSIBILITIES.

I remember one night in particular. It was around midnight and I was feeling very scared. I said, "God I can't do this! I can't possibly leave my safe and quiet life and venture out into the unknown. I'm too scared!" A few hours later found me on a plane, heading for a year of mission service, never guessing just how drastically my life was about to change. I'm so grateful He didn't let me chicken out! Exhilarating fear! It pushes us to places we ordinarily wouldn't have gone. It grows us and challenges us, if we let it. 

Another word for this exhilarating fear is "faith". Faith through the unknown, faith that we are known, faith in the POSSIBILITIES that exist when we say yes to friendship with Jesus.

Faith is diving off the cliff, stepping out of the boat, walking on the water, believing that Jesus is there to catch you. It's showing up, being all in, choosing to trust, day by day. It can also be waiting patiently while everyone else is busy doing something. Faith is that hope that God will show up, that He is enough, that I am enough in Him.

That terrifying feeling when you don't know what to do. That electrifying feeling when you realize that it really doesn't matter after all (He's got it all under control). I heard someone say once (can't remember who), that when you have nothing left but Jesus, you will find that He is more than enough.

"When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing You to move

When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through

When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You

I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You"

(From "Trust in You", Lauren Daigle)

The God-sized Hole

I've often heard people say that we all have a God- sized hole in our heart - a spot that only He can fill. Today I read something that sparked some new thoughts. Maybe, as we begin to understand this hole, this emptiness, and we begin to see how we are really all one great big giant hole, maybe then He can step right in and fill it all up. He is a big God you know.

I'm so extremely grateful for people who are courageous enough to share their real selves, and their brokenness, with the world. Those are the people I truely admire - the ones who step up and say, hey, I'm not perfect, but here I am. People who show up as they are, perfect tools ready to be used by Him who knows no failure.

I want to be one of those people. I want to be courageous and real. I want to learn how to stop hiding, like most of us do. I want to stop trying to fill my emptiness with things that don't satisfy.

My God is a God of truth, hope, and love. And He has called me to share with others. That's my purpose in life. That's why I exist - to partake of Him, share Freindship with Him, and then let that flow out to others. A beautiful circle of loving and sharing and journeying together.

God's Economy

I kept asking God to change my circumstances, instead He changed me.

I asked God to change people, instead He gave me new perspective.

I asked for a way out of difficulty, instead He strengthened me to endure.

I asked for human support, He helped me see that He is enough.

I asked for the things I needed, He supplied all in Jesus.

I asked Him to show me which way to go, He said "It is I who am the Way".

I asked for help making choices, He said "I want you to choose Me".

I thought I knew all I needed to live a good life. But He taught me that only by dying can I really begin to live.

I asked Him to save me, He said "It's already been done."

I fought and struggled because it didn't make sense. He said, "Be still, and know that I am God".

I thought I had to do it all in my own strength, thought I had to figure it all out. Instead He gave me grace to see myself as I am, and He as He really is. I am nothing and He is all. It is He who calls, He who knocks, He who leads, He who protects and provides. He does it all, I just say "Yes, Lord". I in Him, and He in me. And somehow, through it all, He weaves the most beautiful love story ever told. It's a beautiful mystery :-)

^“ These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth.

For they that say such things declare plainly that they seek a country.

And truly, if they had been mindful of that country from whence they came out, they might have had opportunity to have returned. But now they desire a better country, that is, an heavenly: wherefore God is not ashamed to be called their God: for he hath prepared for them a city.” (Hebrews 11: 13-16, KJV)

“Have you come to the Red Sea place in your life, Where, in spite of all you can do, There is no way out, there is no way back, There is no other way but through? Then wait on the Lord with a trust serene Till the night of your fear is gone; He will send the wind, He will heap the floods, When He says to your soul, "Go on."

And His hand will lead you through-clear through--Ere the watery walls roll down, No foe can reach you, no wave can touch, No mightiest sea can drown; The tossing billows may rear their crests, Their foam at your feet may break, But over their bed you shall walk dry shod In the path that your Lord will make.

In the morning watch, 'beneath the lifted cloud, You shall see but the Lord alone, When He leads you on from the place of the sea To a land that you have not known; And your fears shall pass as your foes have passed, You shall be no more afraid; You shall sing His praise in a better place, A place that His hand has made”.--Annie Johnson Flint

The Gift of Suffering

For you have been given not only the privilege of trusting in Christ but also the privilege of suffering for him. (Philippians 1:29 NLT)

Suffering a privilege? Really? What is it that motivates Paul to say such a thing? 

Recently I met a lady who is suffering. She has a little "hole" In her head where they removed part of her brain along with the tumor. Life is very hard for her, in many aspects, but yet she counts it a privilege to suffer for her Lord! She lost her ability to speak in surgery, but God gave it back to her and she uses it to praise and glorify The Lord. She lives to bless others, telling everyone who will listen (and even those who don't) how good God is, and how much He loves each one of us. God is using her in mighty ways. 

A friend recently shared this really big thought with me:

It's not about our story, but rather, it's all about His story.

God's perfect will for us does not include suffering. But guess what, He's a big enough God that He can not only sustain us through it, but He can actually bless us and others by it. Contrary to popular belief, we are not on this earth to be comfortable. We are in the middle of the most important conflict of all times. God loves us relentlessly, and He is concerned with our ultimate good, rather than our momentary happiness (though of course He delights in making us happy too). 

In suffering, we are given the opportunity to draw nearer to Him, to press in, to be strengthened in a way only possible in the midst of trial. If you ask God for the biggest, best, most incredible blessing He can give you, do you know what He will give you?

His only Son.

Everything comes back to Jesus. Jesus does not only give us good things, but He IS every good thing. Thus, if we have Him, we have all that we need, all that we could ever dream of! So if suffering leads to Jesus, then indeed, what a blessing and a privilege!

"And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne." (Hebrews 12:1-2 NLT)

"For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.” So we can say with confidence, “The LORD is my helper, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?” (Hebrews 13:5-6 NLT)

By God's enormous grace may we not only stay strong in suffering, but may we be blessed beyond our wildest dreams as we allow Him to work out His good purpose in our lives. He is utterly trustworthy, entirely good, and unfailingly loving. We have nothing to fear as long as He holds us. And may we thank Him for the blessing of suffering.

Shout it from the mountaintop

It's one of those moments where silence is simply impossible. It's one of those moments where I just can't keep from shouting out from the mountaintop - "Look what Jesus did for me!! He is so good!"

I wrote in my prayer journal "Jesus, did You really just do what I think You just did? Did You really just show up so clearly in my situation? So vividly, so boldly, so confidently, You proved that Your presence makes all the difference"

I wish I could clearly describe what Jesus has done/is doing for me, but it really kind of transcends words. But He is teaching me that the way to Life often involves great pain. And I have a choice. Do I choose the way of temporary pain and eternal life, or do I choose what appears to be the easier path, that really leads to destruction?

For me, and for any followers of Jesus, we can expect hard roads and dark nights ahead. But in this one moment, I want to lay down a "stone of rememberance" and recognize and proclaim, that Jesus came through (and He's not done yet). He will always come through, especially when the night seems darkest. He is so good! His love is so deep! 

So today is a shout-it-from-the-mountaintop kind of day: I once was blind, but now I see, amazing Grace, His Truth sets me free! Taste and see for yourself just how wonderful He is.

Room in the Inn?

"And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling clothes and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn" 

Luke 2:7 ESV

Much has been said about the injustice of the King of Heaven being born in a stable. How lowly a birth place for such a Man. But today I started thinking about the inn, about the innkeeper and the other guests there. How sad that they missed out on such a magnificent experience! I wonder if things would have turned out any differently if there had been room in the inn? It seems like it was for good reason that the rooms were all full. I imagine they were all weary travelers, probably good people, thankful to have a place to lay down and rest. But there was still no room for Jesus.

What about in our hearts? Is there room for Jesus? He longs to fill us with blessing, but how can He if it's already full? There's lots of good stuff that can fill our hearts and lives. Friends and family, helping others, religion; none of these things are bad, but is there room for Jesus? And honestly, He is not content with just a little corner. He wants it all, every nook and cranny He wants to fill to overflowing. That's how the blessing flows out to others, when we are so full of Him that we can't hold it all in. 

I like the open hand metaphor. Instead of clinching life so tightly, trying to hold onto all the things we think we need, it's choosing to allow God access to all of us. In openness we find great freedom. God is free to clean out all the yuckiness, all the cancer, and replace it with more beauty than we can ever imagine. I wonder how many blessings I've lost out on because I simply didn't have any room.

"Anyone who tightly guards his life will lose it, but anyone who loses himself in reckless loving will gain eternal life"

~Jesus (paraphrased by Chris Blake)

This Christmas may we choose to offer Jesus a most wonderful gift: a heart with the vacancy sign out, stripped of all pretense and pride, ready to be filled with His love.

He is mine forever!

My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever. (Psalms 73:26 NLT)

I've been feeling a bit discouraged and overwhelmed lately. I've come a long way through this part of my journey, but I'm kind of ready for the scenery to change a little.

Tonight God reminded me of my current special verse (above). I just recently read it in a new translation and I realized how life-altering this concept is. The strength of my heart is not in my physical body, or even in my spirit (emotions or mind), but instead it is God who is the strength of my life. A force completly outside of me and my circumstances. And because I have accepted Him, He has promised to be mine forever! In the grand scheme of things it matters not whether I am weak or strong, because Jesus is more than sufficient. He remains my strength, meaning that my human frailty does not alter His great power, and neither does time. He is, was, and always will be.

I am encouraged! I don't need to spend my time worrying about doing all the right things, being successful in this world, or even my weaknesses. He has it all covered, and will never, ever leave me. My job is simply to stay close to Him and allow Him full access, keeping my eyes trained on Him.

I'm having trouble really fleshing out this concept, but the big change for me is related to learning to rely fully, completely, only on Jesus. He is big enough that my circumstances don't affect His ability to accomplish His purposes in me and in the world. There is no need for striving on my part to try and make myself be what I think I'm supposed to be. Thus I will learn to be more content in my circumstances because I know it has all passed through His hands first. My God is big, he loves me incredibly, and He is mine forever!

Living daily in the strength of Jesus, the journey continues :) Not too much longer now!

Blessed Hope

Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ; (Titus 2:13 KJV)

Jesus. Our Savior, Lord, and Friend. Our Blessed Hope. He alone makes life worth living and is everything to us. Looking forward to the wonderful day when His physical presence will be the ultimate realization of our daily hope.

I Saw One Weary

I saw one weary, sad, and torn,
With eager steps press on the way,
Who long the hallowed cross had born,
Still looking for the promised day;
While many a line of grief and care,
Upon his brow was furrowed there;
I asked what buoyed his spirits up,
“O this” said he—”the blessed hope.”

Verse 2

And one I saw, with sword and shield,
Who boldly braved the world’s cold frown,
And fought, unyielding, on the field,
To win an everlasting crown.
Though worn with toil, oppressed by foes,
No murmur from his heart arose;
I asked what buoyed his spirits up,
“O this!” said he—”the blessed hope.”

Verse 3

And there was one who left behind
The cherished friends of early years,
And honor, pleasure, wealth re-signed,
To tread the path bedewed with tears.
Through trials deep and conflict sore,
Yet still a smile of joy he wore;
I asked what buoyed his spirits up,
“O this!” said he—”the blessed hope.”

Verse 4

While pilgrims here we journey on
In this dark vale of sin and gloom,
Through tribulation, hate, and scorn,
Or through the portals of the tomb,
Till our returning King shall come
To tkae His exile captives home,
O! what can bouy the spirits up?
‘Tis this alone—the blessed hope.

(http://en.adventisthymns.com/1985/lyrics/441-i-saw-one-weary)

Together

It was a moment in time, a moment so simple, yet so beautiful and moving that there were tears in my eyes. I was playing with one of my favorite little boys. He was curled up inside a cardboard box pretending to be a baby cicada. A very cute baby cicada :)  But suddenly it just hit me (as it often does), how beautiful a gift it is just to simply be with other people. I'm not even sure how to describe it, but there's just something breathtakingly wonderful and special about being present with someone, especially someone you love. Suddenly the dirty dishes and unswept floor just don't seem quite so important. The worries about tomorrow somehow loosen their grip. I revel in these moments.

I've been learning a lot these last few years about the journey (the pilgrimage). There really can be joy in the journey, if we stop to find it. Sharing life with others, being present, walking together, learning together, encouraging one another, lifting each other up in prayer, bearing one another's burdens, these things all bring joy. We are the body of Christ after all, working together for one great purpose. I'm more grateful than I have words for, to be a part of this body, to know I am far from alone on my journey. It's often difficult in our individualistic society, to really connect with people. But this connection, this community, is one if the greatest gifts Jesus has given us. One which continues through eternity!

But even this great gift pales in comparison to the greatest gift. We have the privilege of a constant companion. One who never leaves our side, never gives up in us, even carries is when we need Him to. I still can't comprehend that the King of the universe would want to be present with me, walk with me! But it's true. He says:

"NEVER will I leave you. NEVER will I forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5, emphasis mine).

Life takes on an incredible sweetness when we walk with Jesus. His mere presence changes everything. Burdens are lighter, fears are banished, and there is joy! Just because He is. I can think of no greater gift than the presence and companionship of Jesus Himself. And He is everything. We need nothing else.

Together, we can face anything. Together, life is sweeter. Together we walk, together we live, together we fight. Thank you Jesus, not alone,

Together

The Moment of Truth

Fear. Pure, raw, fear must have nearly incapacitated the children of Isreal as they stood on the banks of the Red Sea. Why?! they must have cried to Moses. Why are we in this impossible place? The enemy is fast on our heels and there is no way out! We are hemmed in on every side. If God doesn't do something, we will die! It was the moment of truth. Would God indeed deliver them? 

"Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” (Exodus 14:13-14 NIV)

God made a way through the impossible. The people were hungry; God sent manna. They were thirsty; He made water gush from a rock. They were under attack, He saved them.Time and again God proved Himself faithful, and able to do what couldn't be done.

Fast forward. The scene is the same: God's people surrounded on all sides. No way of escape. Fear, confusion, uncertainty. Desperation. God! Why have you brought me here!? I've been trying so hard to follow You. What do I do?! How do I escape? Lord, if you don't intervene, I will not survive. The moment of truth: will God come through? Only this time it's you and me in the story. Our battles all look different, but we are all fighting them. The things we trust in might be different, but they all must be ripped away. Not until we come to that place, that place where there is nothing else, no one else, no other hope besides Jesus; only then can we know the answer for ourselves. 

"This is what the Lord says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.

You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.’ ” (2 Chronicles 20:15,17 NIV)

Never forget that Jesus is fighting for you. Never forget the love that motivated Him to give it all. Never forget where your strength lies or where victory comes from. And victory will come. In that moment of truth, that moment when there is only Jesus, we'll find that He is truely more than enough.

"Get going.....I’m giving you every square inch of the land you set your foot on—just as I promised Moses. .... It’s all yours. All your life, no one will be able to hold out against you. In the same way I was with Moses, I’ll be with you. I won’t give up on you; I won’t leave you. Strength! Courage!...Give it everything you have, heart and soul. Make sure you carry out The Revelation that Moses commanded you, every bit of it. Don’t get off track, either left or right, so as to make sure you get to where you’re going. And don’t for a minute let this Book of The Revelation be out of mind. Ponder and meditate on it day and night, making sure you practice everything written in it. Then you’ll get where you’re going; then you’ll succeed. Haven’t I commanded you? Strength! Courage! Don’t be timid; don’t get discouraged. GOD, your God, is with you every step you take.” (Joshua 1:1-9 MSG)

The Day by Day God

Have you ever read something that seemed like a play-by-play of your own life? Or just read something that makes you want to shout "Exactly! That's it!"? I felt that way this week when I picked up a "random" (God doesn't do random) book at the library. It's a book about coping with MS (Multiple Sclerosis). I certainly haven't been diagnosed with MS, but I do have a precursor condition called MTHFR, and many of the same symptoms.

I still don't really understand how it all works, but the point is that I really identified with the stories in this book. It made me feel validated and not quite so alone in my illness. But it also made me realize that, like it or not, my life is different than it used to be. The future is unclear, but I do know that I can't ever go back and be who I used to be. Sometimes it makes me sad, angry, or overwhelmed. But at other times I feel very hopeful. The symptoms are varied and unpredictable. Most people don't really get it, and I don't know how to explain. But I'm learning that it's important to share with others, even though it can be super hard at times.

I admit, I really wish I wasn't ill, but all the same, I wouldn't trade the beautiful experiences I've had for anything. I've learned about what's really important in life (Jesus and people). I've learned how God's strength is perfect in weakness. How the choices we make each day matter much more than how we feel. I've learned the beauty of true friendship, and what it means to really walk through life with people. I've come to know Jesus in a way that I never even fathomed before ( though I long to know Him much more deeply). I've learned that living is not for the faint of heart, and only Jesus can revive the fainting heart.

My flesh and my heart may fail,

    but God is the strength of my heart

    and my portion forever.

Psalm 73:26(NIV)

Mostly I'm learning to walk day by day with Jesus, depending on Him for absolutely everything (read that: still a long way to go!). He doesn't mind carrying me, and He is certainly able. His love is unfathomable and unchanging. As His plan unfolds, I pray for the courage and grace to live each new day standing strong on the mighty promises of Jesus: loving others and letting Him work through me. I may fail Him daily (hourly) but He will never EVER fail me!

Fly Together

Our worship story tonight was about geese, and how God made them to fly in their distinctive V-shape. They fly together to help each other. They take turns leading when one gets tired, they can fly easier in this formation, and supposedly the ones in the back even honk to encourage the leaders to keep going!

I'm so grateful that Jesus gives us opportunities to journey together. There is nothing sweeter than knowing you are not alone as you march on, with Jesus at the center of the way, and as a constant companion. We were made to help each other, encourage each other, and lift each other up. Each of us has a place in God's family. Each one has something valuable to offer. It's often hard though, to reach out to others, especially if we are feeling weak ourselves. But Jesus' grace is more than enough. He understands our weaknesses, and in fact says that His power is best revealed then (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Walking together is not about having it all together, or pretending we do. It's about showing up, being honest, being real, sharing together, and giving God permission to use us. Although I regularly fail at this, I have to admit that some of my greatest blessings in life have come when I've taken a chance and shared with someone.

The inspiration for this blog was the work Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan. In the first book, Christian journeys much of the way alone, and faces great trials, often losing his way. But in the second book Christiana travels in company with others. They even have a guide to accompany them. While they still face great trials, they face them together and encourage each other along the way. God designed us to be a community of followers. In the New Testament church the believers even shared all things in common (which I imagine included living spaces, food, money, etc). Just thinking out loud here, I wonder what it would take to make that kind of church again? The kind of church (group of believers) against which the gates of hell cannot stand? Can't wait to get to heaven, where there will be an eternity of enjoying Jesus together with fellow pilgrims.

Feeling grateful today for those who journey with me. Thank you Jesus for this sweet taste of heaven.

A Grateful Heart

  So, I've been thinking a lot lately about how to live a life of contentment. After 3 or 4 attempts to write a blog about it, I decided that it’s just too big of a subject to cover all at once. So I’ll start with one of the key aspects of learning to be content: living gratefully. Sometimes it’s easy, sometimes it’s difficult, but cultivating a grateful spirit can be life changing. It’s just really amazing to me how perspective can change when focusing on the blessings. I've heard it so many times before, but I want to explore how to make it a practical reality in my own life. I’m starting off by taking a 30-day "Choosing Gratitude" Challenge. Every time I feel tempted to complain or feel sorry for myself, I’m trying to redirect to something I’m thankful for. And I’m trying to be more intentional about sharing these things out loud, with others. The number of things that I have to be grateful for is just astounding. But for now, here are my top 10:

Above all else, I’m grateful for Jesus. His presence in our lives is absolutely the biggest blessing that we could ever wish for. I’m grateful for every moment I have with Him, for knowing Him more deeply, and for the best that is yet to come.

I’m grateful for love and grace. Where would I be without it? There is nothing higher, or better, or bigger than the love of God, and we receive showers of His grace each day. Every breath, every moment of life, everything we have and are is due to His grace. It’s unfathomable, but even though I can’t fully grasp it, I am eternally grateful for it.

I’m grateful for family. Jesus is so good, He knew we all needed to be a part of a family, and I am privileged to be a part of several. The beautiful, wonderful family I was born into – they are the ones who have been with me from the beginning and continually care for me and show their love and support. The special people God has connected me with who have welcomed me into their lives and demonstrated the love of God in so many ways. Friends - who have shared their journeys with me, and walked beside me. The great, big, family of God, made up of people who are very different, but all united in love for our Jesus. My heavenly family - all waiting in anxious anticipation for the day we can all be together.  What a wonderful blessing it is.

I’m grateful for hope. Hope is what gives us the courage to get out of bed each day. It’s what gives us the strength to keep on trying. It’s what motivates us to live. One who has no hope cannot survive. By the grace of God, I have a blessed hope that gives my life meaning and purpose. This world is not the end. I have an eternity of glory to look forward to, side by side with my Jesus.

I’m grateful to be free. The debt I owed was immensely larger than I could ever hope to pay. But due to Jesus’ great sacrifice for me, I can live free, and forever. I am not bound by the chains of sin and guilt, but I’m free, because of God’s amazing grace.

I’m grateful that all my physical necessities are provided for. The sad reality is that many people are dying each day because they lack the basic necessities.  I not only have what I need, but more left over to share (and I ask God to help me learn to be more generous).

I’m grateful for health. While I certainly long for the day when our bodies will be made new and disease free, I’m grateful that I can walk, and talk, and think. I can see and hear and breathe.  I’m grateful that Jesus gives me strength, day by day.

I’m grateful for the natural world. Everything God made helps us to gain a clearer picture of Him. Every little plant and bird speaks of His love. All things were made for our benefit and enjoyment. The majestic mountains, the rushing stream, the melodious songbird, the fading evening rays; all have their place in the Creator’s grand plan. (Lately I’ve been especially grateful to be able to wake up to pretty little bird songs outside my window each morning).

I’m grateful for the Good Shepherd. I have no doubt that I am as silly and naïve as a lamb, but the Good Shepherd leads me, guides me, and carries me in His arms. He protects me and takes such good care of me. He is tender and kind, compassionate and patient. I want for nothing when He is near.

I’m grateful to be included in God’s great plan. His will is for every person on earth to become a part of His family.  He loves us all so passionately and wants the very best for us. Wise as He is, He has given me (and each one) a part to play in His plan. Now, I can’t say I always do my part faithfully, and there are often times I don’t understand, but there is such great joy in being used by Him and being able to be a part of the work He is doing in every heart.

Thank you, thank you, Jesus, for each and every blessing.

Note: I deeply apologize to any grammatically correct readers. This post, especially, is full of errors I'm sure, but it comes from the heart!

God is Good

The traditional chant from my high school years went like this: God is good, ALL THE TIME! and all the time, GOD IS GOOD!

 It's true 'ya know. It's true when the sun is shining and I'm lying in my hammock enjoying the breeze. It's true when the sky is dark and there are nothing but storms in sight. Sometimes His goodness feels like happiness, sometimes it feels like pain, as He opens wounds to heal. Sometimes His goodness looks like bright opportunities and hope for tomorrow. Sometimes it looks like waiting and trusting. 

  In C.S. Lewis' The Chronicles of Narnia, Lucy voices the question I think we all really want to know: Is He safe? 'Course He's not safe! He's not a tame lion. But He IS good. Meaning that God is not someone who can be put in a box or controlled. He is God after all. His ways are so much bigger than ours, and the only way to live is by simply trusting in His goodness.

  Recently I decided to begin compiling a kind of master list of meaningful verses, inspiring quotes, and encouraging words from friends that I've received lately. The thing that immediately struck me, was that I had something for almost every single day. Every day God had spoken to me, words of comfort and hope. It was a reminder that God is not silent (I just don't always listen). And He is good, so understanding of our needs and weaknesses.

 Just now as I was searching for a quote above, I stumbled across this beautiful blog post (http://www.itakejoy.com/course-he-isnt-safe-but-he-is-good-he-is-not-a-tame-lion/). I love where she says 

"You can’t just read God’s Facebook profile and suppose you can be close to His heart. To be near to His heart–understanding His heart, believing He really loves you, experiencing His personality, requires hours and hours of real life in His presence".

   Understanding God's goodness requires understanding/knowing His heart. It requires a real, live relationship, something built on daily experiences (maybe even mostly mundane experiences). It's walking side by side through good times and bad, experiencing life, together. 

  My God is not tame, but He surely is good. I pray that as I seek to be with Him day by day, His heart of love and goodness will be more fully revealed, both to me, and in me.

The Extraordinary Life

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live an extraordinary life? Most of the time it seems like life on this planet is all about survival, trying to fit in, be normal, and make it through. But recently I've become pretty discontent with this way of living, I think there ought to be more.  Jesus says, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full" (John 10:10).But what does it mean to live an extraordinary life? What does it take? Actually, I think every follower of Jesus is called to an "abnormal" life, one that doesn't meet the status quo or follow the rules of society, or even logic. 

    While I'm still very much on the journey, here are some things I've gleaned so far, relating to what I believe an extraordinary life looks like. 

1. Jesus only

    An extraordinary life focuses above all on a relationship with Jesus Christ. He becomes first, best, and only in our lives. He is our best Friend, Comforter, constant companion, and the provider of all we need. This is radical, really radical. It changes everything about your life. Not for the faint of heart (unless that faint heart is given to Jesus, and He'll make it strong :) Honestly, I should stop right here. Knowing Jesus is the definition of an extraordinary life. It's all about Him. Really. I saw this  today and I plan to claim it as my personal mission statement:

    Mission:

To know Him and

To make Him known

2. Love

     Human beings cannot survive without love. Love is synonymous with God. It was for no other reason than love that we were created, and also saved. We cannot love on our own, we can only love and be loved through the grace of Jesus. Vital to true living. 

3. Eternal perspective

    The easiest way to avoid an extraordinary life is to forget that this planet is not our permanent residence. Don't get comfortable! We're just passing through. There is more to life, there is a promise of eternal life for those who know Jesus. Rethinking things with an eternal perspective really impacts the way you live your life. Take money for example, once I realize that it's all God's money anyway, I don't have to stress so much about having it or not. Once I remember that a day is coming when there will be no more pain, sorrow, or sickness, then I can deal with those things a little easier, knowing they're not permanent. Once I realize that I really don't belong here, I don't have to worry so much about fitting in and conforming to society's norms. I can focus on my mission.

4. Connection

     We were created to connect to each other, to have community, work together, share together, help each other out. I've read so many studies recently which find that positive social interactions and meaningful relationships contribute greatly to happy and healthy lives. Family and close friends are the people who help you through the hard times, encouraging you to keep going. It's also part of God's plan for sharing Him, enlarging the circle of love as Lee Venden puts it. But as I've noted before, true connection requires vulnerability and hard work. The results, however, can be life-changing.

5. Hope

     People who have survived some great tragedy often cite hope as the only reason they made it through. Hope is trusting in God, having faith that He'll come through, even when your eyes can't see.  Hope is living every day standing on the firm promises of God's word, doing battle, claiming victory, knowing the outcome is sure. Hope is clinging to Jesus through the storms of life. Hope is enduring the now, with eyes fixed on the bright future to come.

6. Believing Truth

    I almost titled this one positive thinking, but they're not quite the same. Believing Truth (and living like you believe it) is about something real, not simply pie in the sky, as they say. It's choosing to believe God and take Him at His Word, whether it's about who He is, or who I am, or what He can do. It's choosing to focus on these things, dwell on them, remember them. Researchers say that it takes a 3 to 1 ratio of positive thoughts to negative thoughts. This is a particular area of struggle for me, the devil loves to place all kinds of negative (mostly untrue) thoughts in my mind. But praise Jesus He is strong enough to combat this and fill us instead with His beautiful, lovely Truth. Focusing on the positive gives you momentum in that direction and can actually help change your course in life.

7. Lifestyle choices

    Living an extraordinary life really doesn't feel that extraordinary most of the time. It's about making little, unimpressive choices every day that leads to victory. These might be things like physical health, being active and choosing good foods, drinking water. It might include spending time in nature, meditation, learning healthy mental habits, laughter, expressing creativity, expressing gratitude, taking breaks from technology, focusing on the important things in life, getting rid of clutter (both physical and otherwise). The key is that all of these choices are based on a larger goal. The goal is not reached instantly, but instead, step by step, choice by choice.

     

8. Being you

   There is only one you. God created each of us uniquely and lovingly. He has a plan for each life, a purpose to be fulfilled. A video I watched today said that one of the top 5 regrets people have on their deathbed is that they wished they had had the courage to be themselves, instead of who everyone else told them they should be. Don't let doubts and fears, insecurities and the opinions of others, stop you from being who God created you to be. There is such beauty in opening this treasure to the world. And no one else can do it, only you. Let God renew you and refine you, choose to trust Him and reveal His breathtaking creation to the world.

So the question is: who are you going to listen to? (I ask myself). On the one hand, the devil and the world tell you that you are destined for nothing better than an ordinary life, so work hard to try and find some comfort and happiness on your own. On the other hand Jesus invites you to a live an extraordinary life with Him, for eternity. The price is steep (it costs all you have), but the joy is unfathomable. What will you choose?

His Presence

Two different people shared this devotional thought with me recently, and it really resonated.  We are grateful for the many earthly blessings He gives, but the reality is that His presence is truely all we need, and more than we could ever hope for. (Unfortunately I don't know the original source to credit).

"I, the Creator of the Universe, am with you and for you.  What more could you need?  When you feel some lack, it is because you are not connecting with Me at a deep level.  I offer abundant life; your part is to trust Me, refusing to worry about anything.

It is not so much adverse events that make you anxious as it is your thoughts about those events.  Your mind engages in efforts to take control of a situation, to bring about the result you desire.  Your thoughts close in on the problem like ravenous wolves.  Determined to make things go your way, you forget that I am in charge of your life.  The only remedy is to switch your focus from the problem to My Presence.  Stop all your striving, and watch to see what I will do.  I am the Lord!"

"What, then, shall we say in response to this?  If God is for us, who can be against us?  He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all -- how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?"  Romans 8:31-32

"But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me."  Micah 7:7