Changing the World

I can't fall asleep tonight, might as well do a little blogging. (By the way, being too tired to sleep is really frustrating!) Anyway, I was looking at some pictures this week from the day my "nephew" was born. I wasn't around for that exciting day, but I've seen the pictures lots of times. For some reason it really struck me this time though, that this day marked a world changing event! What I mean is, not only did his arrival change life for mommy and daddy and other family members, but his presence in this world simply makes it a  better place. His cute grin and mop of curly hair never fail to make me smile, and he can keep me entertained for hours. My point is that I think I often underestimate the power of people to change the world just by being themselves. Each person has a unique contribution to make, and without it, the world just isn't the same.

My college roommate and I always used to talk about how we were going to change the world. We had it all planned out. While God still might let me run an orphanage some day, I think my perspective on world changing is shifting. There are great things to be done in the world for sure, but often the truly great things go unnoticed or under appreciated. Like the person who always makes sure to thank you and asks how you're doing, the friend who can brighten your day with random conversations, someone who freely shares with you, or the simple joy of a baby's laughter. It's the sharing of a meal, the laughter and tears, the making it through tough times, and just simply being there for one another. This is truly the stuff of world changers.

I've been home (meaning not working) for about a week and a half now and I've decided I really like it. It gives me the chance to do the things that really feed my soul, like spending time with people and contemplating life. While this isn't a permanent situation, I'm grateful God has given me this time. I've spent so much time trying to figure out where I can make a difference in the world, I think I've often neglected what was right in front of me. I want to learn how to be more engaged in people's lives, how to be a better friend and family member. I want to be who God has created me to be, and to learn to use the influence He has given me to better the lives of those around me. I still have to make decisions about my immediate future, but in the meantime I am content, and ever so grateful for the people God has placed in my life who have changed my world in so many positive ways. 

Connection

Connection. It’s something we were created to do. In fact, it might be THE thing we were created to do. Life is meaningless without a deep and vital connection to Jesus (see John 15, which uses the illustration of the branches needing to be connected to the vine to bear fruit). And I think most would agree that feeling disconnected to those around you is pretty rough. The problem is that connection often takes a lot of work. It can often be painful and requires vulnerability. (Daring Greatly by Brene Brown is a must read on this subject.)

I’m basically a fearful person. Lots of things scare me. One thing that particularly scares me is rejection, in any form. Putting myself out there and doing something that might bring about rejection is super hard. It might be something as simple as sending someone a text (What if I’m bothering them?) or writing a blog (what if people think my ideas are dumb?), or sharing with someone what I’m learning (what if they don’t care?). But all of these kinds of things can all be tools to bring about connection. I’m very slowly learning the value of vulnerability and the great rewards of connection. It’s what makes life truly worth living.

As I’m spending more time focusing on what I want to be important to me in life, I’m finding that connection is on the top of the list. I want to start analyzing the things I do every day, and try to make sure a high percentage of what I do is involved in connection. First and foremost with Jesus, and secondly with those around me, also with a purpose of helping them connect with Jesus too. I want to live out my conviction that connection is worth the risk of possible rejection or upsetting people.

I still have a lot to learn on this subject, and I would welcome any input or thoughts. I’m also learning that my favorite ways of connecting is to dialogue with people about subjects like this one :)

Thank you Jesus for initiating connection with us, and even giving Your life to preserve it. Help me strive to make it my first and most important task each day. And thank you for putting people in my life to help me learn and experience the beauty of true connection.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly....."

- Theodore Roosevelt

When evil seems to be winning

I took a little walk down memory lane recently, by way of a visit to a very special place. A place where I experienced greatest joy and deepest pain.  A place that has seen storm after storm, and yet still survives.  This is a place God ordained as a haven for hurting children to come and be safe. For about 4 years I lived there, grew to love it and the people, and God has forever etched it on my heart. This isn’t the first time I’ve gone back, but this trip was harder than the others. I went with the possibility in mind that this might be my last trip, the last time I saw the people and place I hold so dear. This is where I learned (really learned) that loving people is hard. It’s painful and exhausting and sometimes you have to fight for it. It requires sacrifice and persistence. But oh the joys and rewards of loving people! The blessings that come through love are simply indescribable. But we, in and of ourselves, have no love to give, it only comes from the Father. Accepting His love is the only way to be able to pass it on to others.

So, I walked down memory lane again, remembering the good and the bad. Hearing stories of triumph (my kids are doing great things, I’m so proud!) and stories of sickness, heartache, and sorrow. My heart feels heavy as I contemplate all the ways evil seems to be pulling ahead in the battle. I feel discouraged as I see no hope in sight, and frustrated because I want to do something to make a difference!  I pray for miracles: for money to feed the children, for healing for the sick, for protection from violence. I’m not sure why, but the battle for our souls seems more real to me there. The need for God is so obvious. I have to admit, I spent a lot of time worrying during my trip. What does the future hold? Where do I fit into the picture? How is God going to reveal His greatness and power and how can I be a part of His work? One of the passages God kept bringing to mind was this one:

“Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will provide what you need…Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him to do things in His own time. Don’t fret when wicked men prosper and succeed in their evil ways. Don’t give in to worry or anger, and don’t fret over things, because reactions of this kind only bring on more trouble” (Psalm 37:5,7,8 Clear Word).

So here’s the thing: my God is alive and well and working mightily to win the hearts of people He loves so dearly. His ways may not be obvious or match up to our expectations, but He WILL be victorious. Even when evil seems to be racking up the points, the reality is that they don’t stand a chance. He has promised to take care of me, and everyone who chooses to be known as His child. Jesus says, “how can I forget you? I have engraved your name on the palms of my hands. You are always in my thoughts. How can I forget you?” (Isaiah 49:16) He hasn’t forgotten, He is very near.

Thank you Jesus, for fighting for me, and for those I love, and overcoming. Thank you for a hopeful future and a perfect plan. I choose today to trust You and to rely on the firm promises from Your Word.

Perspective

A 3-year old taught me a great lesson on perspective today. After a story about bears he remarked, “I’m thankful that we can pet the bears when they’re not eating us”. This was quickly followed by, “I’m thankful too that no animals are planning to eat me.” I never would have thought to be thankful for that, but it is true, I also am very thankful that I’m in no immediate danger of being eaten by some wild animal. There are so many things I forget to be thankful for. When my focus is on my problems and frustrations, I miss out on a whole other perspective.

Author Ellen White offers the following perspective:

“To every sincere prayer an answer will come. It may not come just as you desire, or at the time you look for it; but it will come in the way and at the time that will best meet your need. The prayers you offer in loneliness, in weariness, in trial, God answers, not always according to your expectations, but always for your good.”—(Gospel Workers, 258.)

Oh, to have the faith to always take God at His word and trust His promises even when our circumstances point in the opposite direction! I think God wants me to learn how to look at things from a new angle, with heavenly, eternal perspective. He answers every prayer I’ve prayed, but I think I often miss his answers because they don’t fit my pre-determined criteria.

Jesus, please open my eyes, help me to see with the eye of Faith, learning to trust Your timing and Your ways.

“Faith is trusting in God,—believing that He loves us, and knows what is for our best good. Thus, instead of our own way, it leads us to choose His way. In place of our ignorance, it accepts His wisdom; in place of our weakness, His strength; in place of our sinfulness, His righteousness. Our lives, ourselves, are already His; faith acknowledges His ownership, and accepts its blessings. Truth, uprightness, purity, are pointed out as secrets of life’s success. It is faith that puts us in possession of these. Every good impulse or aspiration is the gift of God; faith receives from God the life that alone can produce true growth and efficiency.” (Gospel Workers p.259)

By faith

I've been reading a bit in Hebrews. Chapter 11 to be specific, sometimes called the " hall of faith". What a legacy! By faith: the Red Sea opened, the walls of Jericho fell, kingdoms were conquered, the lions mouths were shut, fiery flames were quenched, weakness was turned to strength, dead we're raises to life, others gave up their lives for a better promise, and on and on the list goes. Such exciting stuff! But what gets me is verse 13: "All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted they were aliens and strangers [pilgrims] on this earth."

Like Abraham was asked to give up his only son, the only visible hope to see God's promise fulfilled, each of us is asked to give up our most precious hopes and dreams, by faith. But what if God doesn't fulfill His promise on this earth? Will I still trust Him? Can I leave my treasure on the alter and believe that He has something a zillion times better in mind? Can I walk by faith, still believing I have my place in His plan? Will my name someday appear on the wall of faith? Food for thought. 

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning it's shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God" (Hebrews 12:2)

By God's grace I will choose to see with the eye of faith and spend my life running after the purpose He has for me. I feel restless and strange here. I'm longing for Home and to see my Jesus face to face. I want to do great things, but I'm afraid of the sacrifice required. I'm afraid to give up the things that bring me comfort or a feeling of security. I have to remind myself daily that He is able to do abundantly more than we could ever imagine. His promises are sure. Its time to live... by faith.

Decisions, Decisions

Yikes! Only 10 more days of work left. Then what? Well, I’ll spend about 10 days on a mission trip, but then what? Contrary to popular belief I do not intend to just sit around and be a bum all day J  Times of transition are never easy, and I’m feeling the weight of all the things I need to decide, and how things are going to change. I’ve been feeling various shades of sick on and off for about a month now. I’m feeling very weary and unable to deal effectively with the challenges that are coming my way. What to do?

I finally got my long awaited email this morning, hearing back about a volunteer position I was interested in. Though I don’t really know any details at this point, there’s a possibility out on the table. What should I do? Is this where God wants me? Will I be happy there? Can I survive there? I feel super nervous about making such a big decision, or even, really, where to begin.

All these questions that I’ve been thinking about, and will continue to, I’m sure. I just want to know the right answer! While this may seem simplistic, I’m learning, and I have to keep reminding myself, that the answer to every question is JESUS! He is the center of all, the purpose of life, and the beauty of everything good. Somehow, someway, I just have to keep my eyes centered on the light of His presence, and walk always toward Him, whatever the particular steps may be. It’s really hard, but I have to take it one step at a time, remembering to praise Him in the sunshine and in the storm, and even in the silence. In the end, that’s the only decision that matters anyway.

Live out Thy Life Within Me

We sang this hymn during worship tonight, and it's just such a beautiful way of expressing what I want for my life, that I wanted to share (emphasis mine).

Live Out Thy Life Within Me

Words: Francis Ridley Havergal, (1836-1879)

Live out Thy life within me, O Jesus, King of kings!

Be Thou Thyself the answer To all my questionings;

Live out Thy life within me, In all things have Thy way!

I, the transparent medium Thy glory to display.

The temple has been yielded, And purified of sin;

Let Thy Shekinah glory Now shine forth from within,

And all the earth keep silence, The body henceforth be

Thy silent, gentle servant, Moved only as by Thee.

Its members every moment Held subject to Thy call,

Ready to have Thee use them, Or not be used at all;

Held without restless longing, Or strain, or stress, or fret

Or chafings at Thy dealings, Or thoughts of vain regret.

But restful, calm, and pliant, From bend and bias free,

Awaiting Thy decision, When Thou hast need of me.

Live out Thy life within me, O Jesus, King of kings!

Be Thou the glorious answer To all my questionings.