Our Story

This is the story of how Jesus and I came to be friends. It's a story of deep love and much patience (His of course). 

I grew up a Christian. For the most part I did all the right things and was a "good" person. But, I didn't know Jesus yet. I was generally worried and anxious, but didn't know any other way. I prayed and read the Bible as good Christians do. I had some great emotional highs, but still didn't know Jesus. I went to prayer conference, where my lifelong passion for prayer began. I had tons of spiritual experiences, and I grew, and I did the best I could. But there was no power in my life. I felt dead inside. 

In college I made the life-changing decision to spend a year as a student missionary. Wow. (I have a whole other blog on that topic). There I got some big glimpses of God's power, and He started to become more real to me. Big prayers were answered before our eyes, mountains were moved, and victories were won. But, as I think often happens, mountain tops can quickly give way to deep valleys. Things went downhill and I came back to the states sick, hurt, and confused. This was a really hard period in my life, but what Satan meant for evil, God used for good (isn't He awesome?!)

There's a song that says, Lord make me empty, so I can be filled. During this time God began to strip me of all the things I had been depending on instead of Him. It was NOT pleasant (still isn't). So I fought of course, but my dear Jesus is so patient, He continued to draw me to Himself. And one day, with some help from a good friend, I met Jesus, I mean really met Him, for the first time. Life changed, it took on new meaning and purpose. I couldn't believe I had been a Christian my entire life to that point, without knowing Jesus. I hadn't known I could have an actual relationship with Him.

So I began seeking Jesus in earnest. He had to teach me to just say "yes Jesus, I choose You". He had to teach me to endure pain, even learn to embrace it (the process of getting a new heart can be excruciating). But He is such a loving and merciful God, and He sent many special blessings and joys during this time as well. He's always seeking my best :)

One step forward, three steps backward. He continued (and continues), to weed out the poison in my life, preparing my heart to receive Him more fully. I had to get to the place where there was no one but Him to depend on. I struggled and pleaded with Him to take away my heart of stone and give me a heart of flesh. His answer? Keep looking to Me. Just like Peter, if you take your eyes off Me you will sink. He began to life up my head, and give me a hunger for the Word of God like I'd never had before. Scripture came alive. I began to really believe and suddenly there was power! He taught me how to go forward and conquer, rather than my usual practice of retreating in fear. I'm learning to trust, to depend, and to rest.

And the new heart that I had pleaded for? It happened much quieter than I expected, but one day He just did it. My heart was new and I was changed. I could do nothing but fall at His feet and worship. He did it, He did it all.

The story continues, there are ups and downs, but we are on this journey together, Jesus and I. It's all for His glory, and out of His deep love. He's promised to continue His work until the day I get to see His face (soon!). As I trace our story, and see how He's pursued me, as I experience His grace and mercy personally, I live to testify: God. Is. Love.

Behold your God!

In this age of information overload, I am easily overwhelmed. So many words, so many thoughts and ideas and opinions.

In this world of evil and pain I am easily overwhelmed. There is so much need, so many unanswered questions, and I am so weak. What am I to do?

In the Christian journey I can also be easily overwhelmed. All the “short-cuts” and “detours” distract me from the narrow way.

So I set out to find the crux of the matter. Amidst the chaos and confusion, what one truth stands above everything else? What is the main point?

Through my searching God has led me to this concept – Behold your God.

Other phrases include: Look to Jesus! Keep your eyes on the Light! Look and live! Behold the Lamb of God!

               For my Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have

eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day.” (John 6:40 NIV)

We commonly hear that it is by beholding we become changed (see 2 Corinthians 3:18). What exactly does this mean? The story of Isaiah presents a good illustration. (See Isaiah 6 and Prophets and Kings ch. 26). The land is in turmoil, the people are filled with evil, and God calls Isaiah to be His voice. Isaiah shrinks from this awful task. But here’s what happens:

1.      First of all, it is God who calls Isaiah, and then reveals Himself

2.      Isaiah beholds God’s holiness and great majesty and is overcome with a sense of his own unworthiness.

3.      He humbles his heart and finds full forgiveness and freedom

4.      He arises a changed man

5.      He now quickly answers God’s call and serves Him faithfully, boldly denouncing sin and uplifting the Name of the Lord.

Too often I try to start with #5 and serve God in my own strength. Or I get stuck on #2 and wallow in my own unworthiness. But scripture is clear, when we truly behold God for who He is and accept it (remembering that He has graciously revealed Himself to us through Christ Jesus), then we will be changed. And we have the responsibility to share this with the world.

“Those who wait for the Bridegroom's coming are to say to the people, "Behold your God." The last rays of merciful light, the last message of mercy to be given to the world, is a revelation of His character of love. The children of God are to manifest His glory. In their own life and character they are to reveal what the grace of God has done for them. (Christ’s Object Lessons p. 415, emphasis mine). 

It is the character of God that is at stake today. He has been misrepresented and misunderstood. Satan seeks to hide Him from us. Focusing on our problems or our weakness and faults will only result in sinking lower. Like Peter walking on the water, the moment we take our eyes off Jesus, we will fall. But what a merciful God we have, He says “whoever comes to me I will never drive away.” (John 6:37)

What is it that causes confusion, chaos, pain, and emptiness? It is a misunderstanding (or lack of knowledge) of God’s character of love. The Love of Jesus is the answer to all our questions and doubts and fears. It may sound a bit simplistic, but in reality it’s a million times deeper than the deepest sea.

“The love which Christ diffuses through the whole being is a vitalizing power. Every vital part--the brain, the heart, the nerves--it touches with healing. By it the highest energies of the being are roused to activity. It frees the soul from the guilt and sorrow, the anxiety and care, that crush the life forces. With it come serenity and composure. It implants in the soul, joy that nothing earthly can destroy,--joy in the Holy Spirit,--health-giving, life-giving joy.” (The Ministry of Healing p.115)

God is calling to each one of us. If we behold, keep our gaze focused on Him, and choose to believe and live in His love*, then, and only then, can we testify to the world of the amazing transformation worked by the power of Infinite Love. 

*check out http://hesaidgoblog.org/2014/07/29/pleasing-god/ for a beautiful perspective on what pleases God