Our Story

This is the story of how Jesus and I came to be friends. It's a story of deep love and much patience (His of course). 

I grew up a Christian. For the most part I did all the right things and was a "good" person. But, I didn't know Jesus yet. I was generally worried and anxious, but didn't know any other way. I prayed and read the Bible as good Christians do. I had some great emotional highs, but still didn't know Jesus. I went to prayer conference, where my lifelong passion for prayer began. I had tons of spiritual experiences, and I grew, and I did the best I could. But there was no power in my life. I felt dead inside. 

In college I made the life-changing decision to spend a year as a student missionary. Wow. (I have a whole other blog on that topic). There I got some big glimpses of God's power, and He started to become more real to me. Big prayers were answered before our eyes, mountains were moved, and victories were won. But, as I think often happens, mountain tops can quickly give way to deep valleys. Things went downhill and I came back to the states sick, hurt, and confused. This was a really hard period in my life, but what Satan meant for evil, God used for good (isn't He awesome?!)

There's a song that says, Lord make me empty, so I can be filled. During this time God began to strip me of all the things I had been depending on instead of Him. It was NOT pleasant (still isn't). So I fought of course, but my dear Jesus is so patient, He continued to draw me to Himself. And one day, with some help from a good friend, I met Jesus, I mean really met Him, for the first time. Life changed, it took on new meaning and purpose. I couldn't believe I had been a Christian my entire life to that point, without knowing Jesus. I hadn't known I could have an actual relationship with Him.

So I began seeking Jesus in earnest. He had to teach me to just say "yes Jesus, I choose You". He had to teach me to endure pain, even learn to embrace it (the process of getting a new heart can be excruciating). But He is such a loving and merciful God, and He sent many special blessings and joys during this time as well. He's always seeking my best :)

One step forward, three steps backward. He continued (and continues), to weed out the poison in my life, preparing my heart to receive Him more fully. I had to get to the place where there was no one but Him to depend on. I struggled and pleaded with Him to take away my heart of stone and give me a heart of flesh. His answer? Keep looking to Me. Just like Peter, if you take your eyes off Me you will sink. He began to life up my head, and give me a hunger for the Word of God like I'd never had before. Scripture came alive. I began to really believe and suddenly there was power! He taught me how to go forward and conquer, rather than my usual practice of retreating in fear. I'm learning to trust, to depend, and to rest.

And the new heart that I had pleaded for? It happened much quieter than I expected, but one day He just did it. My heart was new and I was changed. I could do nothing but fall at His feet and worship. He did it, He did it all.

The story continues, there are ups and downs, but we are on this journey together, Jesus and I. It's all for His glory, and out of His deep love. He's promised to continue His work until the day I get to see His face (soon!). As I trace our story, and see how He's pursued me, as I experience His grace and mercy personally, I live to testify: God. Is. Love.

Behold your God!

In this age of information overload, I am easily overwhelmed. So many words, so many thoughts and ideas and opinions.

In this world of evil and pain I am easily overwhelmed. There is so much need, so many unanswered questions, and I am so weak. What am I to do?

In the Christian journey I can also be easily overwhelmed. All the “short-cuts” and “detours” distract me from the narrow way.

So I set out to find the crux of the matter. Amidst the chaos and confusion, what one truth stands above everything else? What is the main point?

Through my searching God has led me to this concept – Behold your God.

Other phrases include: Look to Jesus! Keep your eyes on the Light! Look and live! Behold the Lamb of God!

               For my Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have

eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day.” (John 6:40 NIV)

We commonly hear that it is by beholding we become changed (see 2 Corinthians 3:18). What exactly does this mean? The story of Isaiah presents a good illustration. (See Isaiah 6 and Prophets and Kings ch. 26). The land is in turmoil, the people are filled with evil, and God calls Isaiah to be His voice. Isaiah shrinks from this awful task. But here’s what happens:

1.      First of all, it is God who calls Isaiah, and then reveals Himself

2.      Isaiah beholds God’s holiness and great majesty and is overcome with a sense of his own unworthiness.

3.      He humbles his heart and finds full forgiveness and freedom

4.      He arises a changed man

5.      He now quickly answers God’s call and serves Him faithfully, boldly denouncing sin and uplifting the Name of the Lord.

Too often I try to start with #5 and serve God in my own strength. Or I get stuck on #2 and wallow in my own unworthiness. But scripture is clear, when we truly behold God for who He is and accept it (remembering that He has graciously revealed Himself to us through Christ Jesus), then we will be changed. And we have the responsibility to share this with the world.

“Those who wait for the Bridegroom's coming are to say to the people, "Behold your God." The last rays of merciful light, the last message of mercy to be given to the world, is a revelation of His character of love. The children of God are to manifest His glory. In their own life and character they are to reveal what the grace of God has done for them. (Christ’s Object Lessons p. 415, emphasis mine). 

It is the character of God that is at stake today. He has been misrepresented and misunderstood. Satan seeks to hide Him from us. Focusing on our problems or our weakness and faults will only result in sinking lower. Like Peter walking on the water, the moment we take our eyes off Jesus, we will fall. But what a merciful God we have, He says “whoever comes to me I will never drive away.” (John 6:37)

What is it that causes confusion, chaos, pain, and emptiness? It is a misunderstanding (or lack of knowledge) of God’s character of love. The Love of Jesus is the answer to all our questions and doubts and fears. It may sound a bit simplistic, but in reality it’s a million times deeper than the deepest sea.

“The love which Christ diffuses through the whole being is a vitalizing power. Every vital part--the brain, the heart, the nerves--it touches with healing. By it the highest energies of the being are roused to activity. It frees the soul from the guilt and sorrow, the anxiety and care, that crush the life forces. With it come serenity and composure. It implants in the soul, joy that nothing earthly can destroy,--joy in the Holy Spirit,--health-giving, life-giving joy.” (The Ministry of Healing p.115)

God is calling to each one of us. If we behold, keep our gaze focused on Him, and choose to believe and live in His love*, then, and only then, can we testify to the world of the amazing transformation worked by the power of Infinite Love. 

*check out http://hesaidgoblog.org/2014/07/29/pleasing-god/ for a beautiful perspective on what pleases God

And Yet....

I was reading through the Psalms and noticed this "and yet" pattern that intrigued me.

Basically, the author starts out lamenting some wicked thing, or expressing his fear or anguish, and then says, "and yet"....God is good, God is faithful. Here's a few examples:

Psalm 12

No one can be trusted, people are lying left and right. And yet.....God's Words can be trusted implicitly.

Psalm 10

The wicked are taking advantage of the poor and setting themselves up as more important than God. And yet....God is the rightful King forever and one day the wicked will be no more.

Psalm 9

People are being oppressed. And yet...The Lord is a place of refuge and safety for all who come to Him.

Psalm 4

People continually pray for blessings and more blessings, never satisfied. Yet...The Presence of God in our lives is what brings real joy, more joy than we could even imagine.

Psalm 73

The wicked seem to prosper. The author becomes bitter and "stupid". Yet....He says, God is always with me, that's the only important thing - He is the strength of life. The wicked will receive their due.

Psalm 106 and 107 are full of the "and yet" stories of God and His people. Time and time again, the people rebel, and yet God loves them still. The people complain, but God keeps His promises. God's people have faced much hardship, yet God has lifted their spirits, given them strength to endure, and offered eternal rewards.

We are all sinners, and yet Christ died for us.

There's a lot of awful, scary things happening in our world today. But there is hope! God is still God, and He is still good, and He is still present. Not only do we have hope for the future, but we can have hope right now.

I just needed that reminder this week :)

Sheep Positions Available

Job Description

Sheep

Job Title: Sheep

Reports to: the Shepherd

Compensation: Eternal Life

Benefits: Everything you need

Job Summary

The job of a sheep is to follow the Shepherd and stay close to Him. Period.

Duties and scope of responsibility 

- Responsible for doing whatever the Shepherd says

- Should acknowledge their role as a sheep (not very smart)

- Should not try to go their own way

- Depends on the Shepherd for every need, big or small

- Watches the Shepherd closely and learns His ways

- Helps other sheep (or not-yet sheep) get to know the Shepherd better

- Becomes close friends with the Shepherd

- Loyal to the Shepherd

Skills required

Candidates for this position are accepted "as is". It will be the Shepherds responsibility to fit them for the job. The only requirement is a willing and open heart. Even then the Shepherd can offer training.

Working conditions

By the world's standards, the working conditions can often be very poor. Position requires a long journey, climbs over steep mountains and through dark valleys. However, the Shepherd will always be leading and there is no need to fear. He will carry when necessary and knows the way quite well. He has promised green pastures and still waters. He also restores souls.

This job is particularly for the faint of heart, who feel the need of their Shepherd. All applications accepted. The job will require death to self, but will provide life everlasting and unquenchable joy. The Shepherd loves His sheep fiercely, and will adopt as His own all who wish it. 

Apply now

Exhilarating Fear

I've never been the extreme sports type. Jumping out of airplanes or riding roller coasters has never been my thing either. But there's been a few things in my life that have given me that same type of adrenaline rush - fear mixed with excitement, the possibilities vs the POSSIBILITIES.

I remember one night in particular. It was around midnight and I was feeling very scared. I said, "God I can't do this! I can't possibly leave my safe and quiet life and venture out into the unknown. I'm too scared!" A few hours later found me on a plane, heading for a year of mission service, never guessing just how drastically my life was about to change. I'm so grateful He didn't let me chicken out! Exhilarating fear! It pushes us to places we ordinarily wouldn't have gone. It grows us and challenges us, if we let it. 

Another word for this exhilarating fear is "faith". Faith through the unknown, faith that we are known, faith in the POSSIBILITIES that exist when we say yes to friendship with Jesus.

Faith is diving off the cliff, stepping out of the boat, walking on the water, believing that Jesus is there to catch you. It's showing up, being all in, choosing to trust, day by day. It can also be waiting patiently while everyone else is busy doing something. Faith is that hope that God will show up, that He is enough, that I am enough in Him.

That terrifying feeling when you don't know what to do. That electrifying feeling when you realize that it really doesn't matter after all (He's got it all under control). I heard someone say once (can't remember who), that when you have nothing left but Jesus, you will find that He is more than enough.

"When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing You to move

When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through

When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You

I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You"

(From "Trust in You", Lauren Daigle)

The God-sized Hole

I've often heard people say that we all have a God- sized hole in our heart - a spot that only He can fill. Today I read something that sparked some new thoughts. Maybe, as we begin to understand this hole, this emptiness, and we begin to see how we are really all one great big giant hole, maybe then He can step right in and fill it all up. He is a big God you know.

I'm so extremely grateful for people who are courageous enough to share their real selves, and their brokenness, with the world. Those are the people I truely admire - the ones who step up and say, hey, I'm not perfect, but here I am. People who show up as they are, perfect tools ready to be used by Him who knows no failure.

I want to be one of those people. I want to be courageous and real. I want to learn how to stop hiding, like most of us do. I want to stop trying to fill my emptiness with things that don't satisfy.

My God is a God of truth, hope, and love. And He has called me to share with others. That's my purpose in life. That's why I exist - to partake of Him, share Freindship with Him, and then let that flow out to others. A beautiful circle of loving and sharing and journeying together.

God's Economy

I kept asking God to change my circumstances, instead He changed me.

I asked God to change people, instead He gave me new perspective.

I asked for a way out of difficulty, instead He strengthened me to endure.

I asked for human support, He helped me see that He is enough.

I asked for the things I needed, He supplied all in Jesus.

I asked Him to show me which way to go, He said "It is I who am the Way".

I asked for help making choices, He said "I want you to choose Me".

I thought I knew all I needed to live a good life. But He taught me that only by dying can I really begin to live.

I asked Him to save me, He said "It's already been done."

I fought and struggled because it didn't make sense. He said, "Be still, and know that I am God".

I thought I had to do it all in my own strength, thought I had to figure it all out. Instead He gave me grace to see myself as I am, and He as He really is. I am nothing and He is all. It is He who calls, He who knocks, He who leads, He who protects and provides. He does it all, I just say "Yes, Lord". I in Him, and He in me. And somehow, through it all, He weaves the most beautiful love story ever told. It's a beautiful mystery :-)

^“ These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth.

For they that say such things declare plainly that they seek a country.

And truly, if they had been mindful of that country from whence they came out, they might have had opportunity to have returned. But now they desire a better country, that is, an heavenly: wherefore God is not ashamed to be called their God: for he hath prepared for them a city.” (Hebrews 11: 13-16, KJV)

“Have you come to the Red Sea place in your life, Where, in spite of all you can do, There is no way out, there is no way back, There is no other way but through? Then wait on the Lord with a trust serene Till the night of your fear is gone; He will send the wind, He will heap the floods, When He says to your soul, "Go on."

And His hand will lead you through-clear through--Ere the watery walls roll down, No foe can reach you, no wave can touch, No mightiest sea can drown; The tossing billows may rear their crests, Their foam at your feet may break, But over their bed you shall walk dry shod In the path that your Lord will make.

In the morning watch, 'beneath the lifted cloud, You shall see but the Lord alone, When He leads you on from the place of the sea To a land that you have not known; And your fears shall pass as your foes have passed, You shall be no more afraid; You shall sing His praise in a better place, A place that His hand has made”.--Annie Johnson Flint