Room in the Inn?

"And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling clothes and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn" 

Luke 2:7 ESV

Much has been said about the injustice of the King of Heaven being born in a stable. How lowly a birth place for such a Man. But today I started thinking about the inn, about the innkeeper and the other guests there. How sad that they missed out on such a magnificent experience! I wonder if things would have turned out any differently if there had been room in the inn? It seems like it was for good reason that the rooms were all full. I imagine they were all weary travelers, probably good people, thankful to have a place to lay down and rest. But there was still no room for Jesus.

What about in our hearts? Is there room for Jesus? He longs to fill us with blessing, but how can He if it's already full? There's lots of good stuff that can fill our hearts and lives. Friends and family, helping others, religion; none of these things are bad, but is there room for Jesus? And honestly, He is not content with just a little corner. He wants it all, every nook and cranny He wants to fill to overflowing. That's how the blessing flows out to others, when we are so full of Him that we can't hold it all in. 

I like the open hand metaphor. Instead of clinching life so tightly, trying to hold onto all the things we think we need, it's choosing to allow God access to all of us. In openness we find great freedom. God is free to clean out all the yuckiness, all the cancer, and replace it with more beauty than we can ever imagine. I wonder how many blessings I've lost out on because I simply didn't have any room.

"Anyone who tightly guards his life will lose it, but anyone who loses himself in reckless loving will gain eternal life"

~Jesus (paraphrased by Chris Blake)

This Christmas may we choose to offer Jesus a most wonderful gift: a heart with the vacancy sign out, stripped of all pretense and pride, ready to be filled with His love.

He is mine forever!

My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever. (Psalms 73:26 NLT)

I've been feeling a bit discouraged and overwhelmed lately. I've come a long way through this part of my journey, but I'm kind of ready for the scenery to change a little.

Tonight God reminded me of my current special verse (above). I just recently read it in a new translation and I realized how life-altering this concept is. The strength of my heart is not in my physical body, or even in my spirit (emotions or mind), but instead it is God who is the strength of my life. A force completly outside of me and my circumstances. And because I have accepted Him, He has promised to be mine forever! In the grand scheme of things it matters not whether I am weak or strong, because Jesus is more than sufficient. He remains my strength, meaning that my human frailty does not alter His great power, and neither does time. He is, was, and always will be.

I am encouraged! I don't need to spend my time worrying about doing all the right things, being successful in this world, or even my weaknesses. He has it all covered, and will never, ever leave me. My job is simply to stay close to Him and allow Him full access, keeping my eyes trained on Him.

I'm having trouble really fleshing out this concept, but the big change for me is related to learning to rely fully, completely, only on Jesus. He is big enough that my circumstances don't affect His ability to accomplish His purposes in me and in the world. There is no need for striving on my part to try and make myself be what I think I'm supposed to be. Thus I will learn to be more content in my circumstances because I know it has all passed through His hands first. My God is big, he loves me incredibly, and He is mine forever!

Living daily in the strength of Jesus, the journey continues :) Not too much longer now!

Blessed Hope

Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ; (Titus 2:13 KJV)

Jesus. Our Savior, Lord, and Friend. Our Blessed Hope. He alone makes life worth living and is everything to us. Looking forward to the wonderful day when His physical presence will be the ultimate realization of our daily hope.

I Saw One Weary

I saw one weary, sad, and torn,
With eager steps press on the way,
Who long the hallowed cross had born,
Still looking for the promised day;
While many a line of grief and care,
Upon his brow was furrowed there;
I asked what buoyed his spirits up,
“O this” said he—”the blessed hope.”

Verse 2

And one I saw, with sword and shield,
Who boldly braved the world’s cold frown,
And fought, unyielding, on the field,
To win an everlasting crown.
Though worn with toil, oppressed by foes,
No murmur from his heart arose;
I asked what buoyed his spirits up,
“O this!” said he—”the blessed hope.”

Verse 3

And there was one who left behind
The cherished friends of early years,
And honor, pleasure, wealth re-signed,
To tread the path bedewed with tears.
Through trials deep and conflict sore,
Yet still a smile of joy he wore;
I asked what buoyed his spirits up,
“O this!” said he—”the blessed hope.”

Verse 4

While pilgrims here we journey on
In this dark vale of sin and gloom,
Through tribulation, hate, and scorn,
Or through the portals of the tomb,
Till our returning King shall come
To tkae His exile captives home,
O! what can bouy the spirits up?
‘Tis this alone—the blessed hope.

(http://en.adventisthymns.com/1985/lyrics/441-i-saw-one-weary)

Together

It was a moment in time, a moment so simple, yet so beautiful and moving that there were tears in my eyes. I was playing with one of my favorite little boys. He was curled up inside a cardboard box pretending to be a baby cicada. A very cute baby cicada :)  But suddenly it just hit me (as it often does), how beautiful a gift it is just to simply be with other people. I'm not even sure how to describe it, but there's just something breathtakingly wonderful and special about being present with someone, especially someone you love. Suddenly the dirty dishes and unswept floor just don't seem quite so important. The worries about tomorrow somehow loosen their grip. I revel in these moments.

I've been learning a lot these last few years about the journey (the pilgrimage). There really can be joy in the journey, if we stop to find it. Sharing life with others, being present, walking together, learning together, encouraging one another, lifting each other up in prayer, bearing one another's burdens, these things all bring joy. We are the body of Christ after all, working together for one great purpose. I'm more grateful than I have words for, to be a part of this body, to know I am far from alone on my journey. It's often difficult in our individualistic society, to really connect with people. But this connection, this community, is one if the greatest gifts Jesus has given us. One which continues through eternity!

But even this great gift pales in comparison to the greatest gift. We have the privilege of a constant companion. One who never leaves our side, never gives up in us, even carries is when we need Him to. I still can't comprehend that the King of the universe would want to be present with me, walk with me! But it's true. He says:

"NEVER will I leave you. NEVER will I forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5, emphasis mine).

Life takes on an incredible sweetness when we walk with Jesus. His mere presence changes everything. Burdens are lighter, fears are banished, and there is joy! Just because He is. I can think of no greater gift than the presence and companionship of Jesus Himself. And He is everything. We need nothing else.

Together, we can face anything. Together, life is sweeter. Together we walk, together we live, together we fight. Thank you Jesus, not alone,

Together

The Moment of Truth

Fear. Pure, raw, fear must have nearly incapacitated the children of Isreal as they stood on the banks of the Red Sea. Why?! they must have cried to Moses. Why are we in this impossible place? The enemy is fast on our heels and there is no way out! We are hemmed in on every side. If God doesn't do something, we will die! It was the moment of truth. Would God indeed deliver them? 

"Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” (Exodus 14:13-14 NIV)

God made a way through the impossible. The people were hungry; God sent manna. They were thirsty; He made water gush from a rock. They were under attack, He saved them.Time and again God proved Himself faithful, and able to do what couldn't be done.

Fast forward. The scene is the same: God's people surrounded on all sides. No way of escape. Fear, confusion, uncertainty. Desperation. God! Why have you brought me here!? I've been trying so hard to follow You. What do I do?! How do I escape? Lord, if you don't intervene, I will not survive. The moment of truth: will God come through? Only this time it's you and me in the story. Our battles all look different, but we are all fighting them. The things we trust in might be different, but they all must be ripped away. Not until we come to that place, that place where there is nothing else, no one else, no other hope besides Jesus; only then can we know the answer for ourselves. 

"This is what the Lord says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.

You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.’ ” (2 Chronicles 20:15,17 NIV)

Never forget that Jesus is fighting for you. Never forget the love that motivated Him to give it all. Never forget where your strength lies or where victory comes from. And victory will come. In that moment of truth, that moment when there is only Jesus, we'll find that He is truely more than enough.

"Get going.....I’m giving you every square inch of the land you set your foot on—just as I promised Moses. .... It’s all yours. All your life, no one will be able to hold out against you. In the same way I was with Moses, I’ll be with you. I won’t give up on you; I won’t leave you. Strength! Courage!...Give it everything you have, heart and soul. Make sure you carry out The Revelation that Moses commanded you, every bit of it. Don’t get off track, either left or right, so as to make sure you get to where you’re going. And don’t for a minute let this Book of The Revelation be out of mind. Ponder and meditate on it day and night, making sure you practice everything written in it. Then you’ll get where you’re going; then you’ll succeed. Haven’t I commanded you? Strength! Courage! Don’t be timid; don’t get discouraged. GOD, your God, is with you every step you take.” (Joshua 1:1-9 MSG)

The Day by Day God

Have you ever read something that seemed like a play-by-play of your own life? Or just read something that makes you want to shout "Exactly! That's it!"? I felt that way this week when I picked up a "random" (God doesn't do random) book at the library. It's a book about coping with MS (Multiple Sclerosis). I certainly haven't been diagnosed with MS, but I do have a precursor condition called MTHFR, and many of the same symptoms.

I still don't really understand how it all works, but the point is that I really identified with the stories in this book. It made me feel validated and not quite so alone in my illness. But it also made me realize that, like it or not, my life is different than it used to be. The future is unclear, but I do know that I can't ever go back and be who I used to be. Sometimes it makes me sad, angry, or overwhelmed. But at other times I feel very hopeful. The symptoms are varied and unpredictable. Most people don't really get it, and I don't know how to explain. But I'm learning that it's important to share with others, even though it can be super hard at times.

I admit, I really wish I wasn't ill, but all the same, I wouldn't trade the beautiful experiences I've had for anything. I've learned about what's really important in life (Jesus and people). I've learned how God's strength is perfect in weakness. How the choices we make each day matter much more than how we feel. I've learned the beauty of true friendship, and what it means to really walk through life with people. I've come to know Jesus in a way that I never even fathomed before ( though I long to know Him much more deeply). I've learned that living is not for the faint of heart, and only Jesus can revive the fainting heart.

My flesh and my heart may fail,

    but God is the strength of my heart

    and my portion forever.

Psalm 73:26(NIV)

Mostly I'm learning to walk day by day with Jesus, depending on Him for absolutely everything (read that: still a long way to go!). He doesn't mind carrying me, and He is certainly able. His love is unfathomable and unchanging. As His plan unfolds, I pray for the courage and grace to live each new day standing strong on the mighty promises of Jesus: loving others and letting Him work through me. I may fail Him daily (hourly) but He will never EVER fail me!

Fly Together

Our worship story tonight was about geese, and how God made them to fly in their distinctive V-shape. They fly together to help each other. They take turns leading when one gets tired, they can fly easier in this formation, and supposedly the ones in the back even honk to encourage the leaders to keep going!

I'm so grateful that Jesus gives us opportunities to journey together. There is nothing sweeter than knowing you are not alone as you march on, with Jesus at the center of the way, and as a constant companion. We were made to help each other, encourage each other, and lift each other up. Each of us has a place in God's family. Each one has something valuable to offer. It's often hard though, to reach out to others, especially if we are feeling weak ourselves. But Jesus' grace is more than enough. He understands our weaknesses, and in fact says that His power is best revealed then (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Walking together is not about having it all together, or pretending we do. It's about showing up, being honest, being real, sharing together, and giving God permission to use us. Although I regularly fail at this, I have to admit that some of my greatest blessings in life have come when I've taken a chance and shared with someone.

The inspiration for this blog was the work Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan. In the first book, Christian journeys much of the way alone, and faces great trials, often losing his way. But in the second book Christiana travels in company with others. They even have a guide to accompany them. While they still face great trials, they face them together and encourage each other along the way. God designed us to be a community of followers. In the New Testament church the believers even shared all things in common (which I imagine included living spaces, food, money, etc). Just thinking out loud here, I wonder what it would take to make that kind of church again? The kind of church (group of believers) against which the gates of hell cannot stand? Can't wait to get to heaven, where there will be an eternity of enjoying Jesus together with fellow pilgrims.

Feeling grateful today for those who journey with me. Thank you Jesus for this sweet taste of heaven.

A Grateful Heart

  So, I've been thinking a lot lately about how to live a life of contentment. After 3 or 4 attempts to write a blog about it, I decided that it’s just too big of a subject to cover all at once. So I’ll start with one of the key aspects of learning to be content: living gratefully. Sometimes it’s easy, sometimes it’s difficult, but cultivating a grateful spirit can be life changing. It’s just really amazing to me how perspective can change when focusing on the blessings. I've heard it so many times before, but I want to explore how to make it a practical reality in my own life. I’m starting off by taking a 30-day "Choosing Gratitude" Challenge. Every time I feel tempted to complain or feel sorry for myself, I’m trying to redirect to something I’m thankful for. And I’m trying to be more intentional about sharing these things out loud, with others. The number of things that I have to be grateful for is just astounding. But for now, here are my top 10:

Above all else, I’m grateful for Jesus. His presence in our lives is absolutely the biggest blessing that we could ever wish for. I’m grateful for every moment I have with Him, for knowing Him more deeply, and for the best that is yet to come.

I’m grateful for love and grace. Where would I be without it? There is nothing higher, or better, or bigger than the love of God, and we receive showers of His grace each day. Every breath, every moment of life, everything we have and are is due to His grace. It’s unfathomable, but even though I can’t fully grasp it, I am eternally grateful for it.

I’m grateful for family. Jesus is so good, He knew we all needed to be a part of a family, and I am privileged to be a part of several. The beautiful, wonderful family I was born into – they are the ones who have been with me from the beginning and continually care for me and show their love and support. The special people God has connected me with who have welcomed me into their lives and demonstrated the love of God in so many ways. Friends - who have shared their journeys with me, and walked beside me. The great, big, family of God, made up of people who are very different, but all united in love for our Jesus. My heavenly family - all waiting in anxious anticipation for the day we can all be together.  What a wonderful blessing it is.

I’m grateful for hope. Hope is what gives us the courage to get out of bed each day. It’s what gives us the strength to keep on trying. It’s what motivates us to live. One who has no hope cannot survive. By the grace of God, I have a blessed hope that gives my life meaning and purpose. This world is not the end. I have an eternity of glory to look forward to, side by side with my Jesus.

I’m grateful to be free. The debt I owed was immensely larger than I could ever hope to pay. But due to Jesus’ great sacrifice for me, I can live free, and forever. I am not bound by the chains of sin and guilt, but I’m free, because of God’s amazing grace.

I’m grateful that all my physical necessities are provided for. The sad reality is that many people are dying each day because they lack the basic necessities.  I not only have what I need, but more left over to share (and I ask God to help me learn to be more generous).

I’m grateful for health. While I certainly long for the day when our bodies will be made new and disease free, I’m grateful that I can walk, and talk, and think. I can see and hear and breathe.  I’m grateful that Jesus gives me strength, day by day.

I’m grateful for the natural world. Everything God made helps us to gain a clearer picture of Him. Every little plant and bird speaks of His love. All things were made for our benefit and enjoyment. The majestic mountains, the rushing stream, the melodious songbird, the fading evening rays; all have their place in the Creator’s grand plan. (Lately I’ve been especially grateful to be able to wake up to pretty little bird songs outside my window each morning).

I’m grateful for the Good Shepherd. I have no doubt that I am as silly and naïve as a lamb, but the Good Shepherd leads me, guides me, and carries me in His arms. He protects me and takes such good care of me. He is tender and kind, compassionate and patient. I want for nothing when He is near.

I’m grateful to be included in God’s great plan. His will is for every person on earth to become a part of His family.  He loves us all so passionately and wants the very best for us. Wise as He is, He has given me (and each one) a part to play in His plan. Now, I can’t say I always do my part faithfully, and there are often times I don’t understand, but there is such great joy in being used by Him and being able to be a part of the work He is doing in every heart.

Thank you, thank you, Jesus, for each and every blessing.

Note: I deeply apologize to any grammatically correct readers. This post, especially, is full of errors I'm sure, but it comes from the heart!

God is Good

The traditional chant from my high school years went like this: God is good, ALL THE TIME! and all the time, GOD IS GOOD!

 It's true 'ya know. It's true when the sun is shining and I'm lying in my hammock enjoying the breeze. It's true when the sky is dark and there are nothing but storms in sight. Sometimes His goodness feels like happiness, sometimes it feels like pain, as He opens wounds to heal. Sometimes His goodness looks like bright opportunities and hope for tomorrow. Sometimes it looks like waiting and trusting. 

  In C.S. Lewis' The Chronicles of Narnia, Lucy voices the question I think we all really want to know: Is He safe? 'Course He's not safe! He's not a tame lion. But He IS good. Meaning that God is not someone who can be put in a box or controlled. He is God after all. His ways are so much bigger than ours, and the only way to live is by simply trusting in His goodness.

  Recently I decided to begin compiling a kind of master list of meaningful verses, inspiring quotes, and encouraging words from friends that I've received lately. The thing that immediately struck me, was that I had something for almost every single day. Every day God had spoken to me, words of comfort and hope. It was a reminder that God is not silent (I just don't always listen). And He is good, so understanding of our needs and weaknesses.

 Just now as I was searching for a quote above, I stumbled across this beautiful blog post (http://www.itakejoy.com/course-he-isnt-safe-but-he-is-good-he-is-not-a-tame-lion/). I love where she says 

"You can’t just read God’s Facebook profile and suppose you can be close to His heart. To be near to His heart–understanding His heart, believing He really loves you, experiencing His personality, requires hours and hours of real life in His presence".

   Understanding God's goodness requires understanding/knowing His heart. It requires a real, live relationship, something built on daily experiences (maybe even mostly mundane experiences). It's walking side by side through good times and bad, experiencing life, together. 

  My God is not tame, but He surely is good. I pray that as I seek to be with Him day by day, His heart of love and goodness will be more fully revealed, both to me, and in me.

The Extraordinary Life

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live an extraordinary life? Most of the time it seems like life on this planet is all about survival, trying to fit in, be normal, and make it through. But recently I've become pretty discontent with this way of living, I think there ought to be more.  Jesus says, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full" (John 10:10).But what does it mean to live an extraordinary life? What does it take? Actually, I think every follower of Jesus is called to an "abnormal" life, one that doesn't meet the status quo or follow the rules of society, or even logic. 

    While I'm still very much on the journey, here are some things I've gleaned so far, relating to what I believe an extraordinary life looks like. 

1. Jesus only

    An extraordinary life focuses above all on a relationship with Jesus Christ. He becomes first, best, and only in our lives. He is our best Friend, Comforter, constant companion, and the provider of all we need. This is radical, really radical. It changes everything about your life. Not for the faint of heart (unless that faint heart is given to Jesus, and He'll make it strong :) Honestly, I should stop right here. Knowing Jesus is the definition of an extraordinary life. It's all about Him. Really. I saw this  today and I plan to claim it as my personal mission statement:

    Mission:

To know Him and

To make Him known

2. Love

     Human beings cannot survive without love. Love is synonymous with God. It was for no other reason than love that we were created, and also saved. We cannot love on our own, we can only love and be loved through the grace of Jesus. Vital to true living. 

3. Eternal perspective

    The easiest way to avoid an extraordinary life is to forget that this planet is not our permanent residence. Don't get comfortable! We're just passing through. There is more to life, there is a promise of eternal life for those who know Jesus. Rethinking things with an eternal perspective really impacts the way you live your life. Take money for example, once I realize that it's all God's money anyway, I don't have to stress so much about having it or not. Once I remember that a day is coming when there will be no more pain, sorrow, or sickness, then I can deal with those things a little easier, knowing they're not permanent. Once I realize that I really don't belong here, I don't have to worry so much about fitting in and conforming to society's norms. I can focus on my mission.

4. Connection

     We were created to connect to each other, to have community, work together, share together, help each other out. I've read so many studies recently which find that positive social interactions and meaningful relationships contribute greatly to happy and healthy lives. Family and close friends are the people who help you through the hard times, encouraging you to keep going. It's also part of God's plan for sharing Him, enlarging the circle of love as Lee Venden puts it. But as I've noted before, true connection requires vulnerability and hard work. The results, however, can be life-changing.

5. Hope

     People who have survived some great tragedy often cite hope as the only reason they made it through. Hope is trusting in God, having faith that He'll come through, even when your eyes can't see.  Hope is living every day standing on the firm promises of God's word, doing battle, claiming victory, knowing the outcome is sure. Hope is clinging to Jesus through the storms of life. Hope is enduring the now, with eyes fixed on the bright future to come.

6. Believing Truth

    I almost titled this one positive thinking, but they're not quite the same. Believing Truth (and living like you believe it) is about something real, not simply pie in the sky, as they say. It's choosing to believe God and take Him at His Word, whether it's about who He is, or who I am, or what He can do. It's choosing to focus on these things, dwell on them, remember them. Researchers say that it takes a 3 to 1 ratio of positive thoughts to negative thoughts. This is a particular area of struggle for me, the devil loves to place all kinds of negative (mostly untrue) thoughts in my mind. But praise Jesus He is strong enough to combat this and fill us instead with His beautiful, lovely Truth. Focusing on the positive gives you momentum in that direction and can actually help change your course in life.

7. Lifestyle choices

    Living an extraordinary life really doesn't feel that extraordinary most of the time. It's about making little, unimpressive choices every day that leads to victory. These might be things like physical health, being active and choosing good foods, drinking water. It might include spending time in nature, meditation, learning healthy mental habits, laughter, expressing creativity, expressing gratitude, taking breaks from technology, focusing on the important things in life, getting rid of clutter (both physical and otherwise). The key is that all of these choices are based on a larger goal. The goal is not reached instantly, but instead, step by step, choice by choice.

     

8. Being you

   There is only one you. God created each of us uniquely and lovingly. He has a plan for each life, a purpose to be fulfilled. A video I watched today said that one of the top 5 regrets people have on their deathbed is that they wished they had had the courage to be themselves, instead of who everyone else told them they should be. Don't let doubts and fears, insecurities and the opinions of others, stop you from being who God created you to be. There is such beauty in opening this treasure to the world. And no one else can do it, only you. Let God renew you and refine you, choose to trust Him and reveal His breathtaking creation to the world.

So the question is: who are you going to listen to? (I ask myself). On the one hand, the devil and the world tell you that you are destined for nothing better than an ordinary life, so work hard to try and find some comfort and happiness on your own. On the other hand Jesus invites you to a live an extraordinary life with Him, for eternity. The price is steep (it costs all you have), but the joy is unfathomable. What will you choose?

His Presence

Two different people shared this devotional thought with me recently, and it really resonated.  We are grateful for the many earthly blessings He gives, but the reality is that His presence is truely all we need, and more than we could ever hope for. (Unfortunately I don't know the original source to credit).

"I, the Creator of the Universe, am with you and for you.  What more could you need?  When you feel some lack, it is because you are not connecting with Me at a deep level.  I offer abundant life; your part is to trust Me, refusing to worry about anything.

It is not so much adverse events that make you anxious as it is your thoughts about those events.  Your mind engages in efforts to take control of a situation, to bring about the result you desire.  Your thoughts close in on the problem like ravenous wolves.  Determined to make things go your way, you forget that I am in charge of your life.  The only remedy is to switch your focus from the problem to My Presence.  Stop all your striving, and watch to see what I will do.  I am the Lord!"

"What, then, shall we say in response to this?  If God is for us, who can be against us?  He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all -- how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?"  Romans 8:31-32

"But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me."  Micah 7:7

Just to Be With You

The story of Young Joe takes place during a dark time in our nation's history, a time when men were openly bought and sold as slaves. Well, this particular young man was the picture perfect slave, at least physically. He was big and strong and appeared as though he could work for hours without growing weary. But the problem was that he was quite unwilling to work. All day long he would yell at those who came to examine him: 'I won't work! It would be a waste of money to buy me because I won't work even a second!', and he would scoff and sneer. Finally one middle-aged man stepped up and decided to buy Young Joe. So the man handed over an exorbit amount of money and was given the key to Joe's chain and they loaded Joe in the wagon. All the way home Joe kept up his chant of 'I won't work, I won't work'. Soon they arrived at a cute little cottage at the edge of the woods. The man got out, took Joe inside, and then did a strange thing. He unlocked the shackles and tosses them aside. 'Welcome home, Joe,' he said. This is your house now, you're a free man. Still not comprehending the situation, Joe kept raging 'I won't work a day of my life for you!'. The man said 'Joe that's ok with me." Suddenly Joe understood what this man had done for him, and immediately fell at the man's feet and said, 'master, I will work for you until the day I die!' Once he understood what had been done for him, everything changed!

I've heard it said that a man would climb a mountain

Just to be with the one he loves

How many times has he broken that promise

It has never been done.

I've never climbed the highest mountain

But I walked the hill of calvary

Just to be with you, I'd do anything

There's no price I would not pay

Just to be with you, I'd give anything

I would give my life away.

I've heard it said that a man would swim the ocean

Just to be with the one he loves

How may times has he broken that promise

It can never be done

I've never swam the deepest ocean

But I walked upon the raging sea

I know that you don't understand 

the fullness of My love

How I died upon the cross for your sins

And I know that you don't realize

how much that I gave you

But I promise, I would do it all again.

Just to be with you, I've done everything

There's no price I did not pay

Just to be with you, I gave everything

Yes, I gave my life away.

("Love Song" by third day)

There are no words to adequately describe the immensity of what Jesus has done for me. I was a slave to sin, but he saw my great need and came to resue me, set me free, cut my chains. But it wasn't just benevelance or sympathy that brought him here. No, His motivation went much deeper. His love for me is so deep and vast and strong that He was willing to do whatever it took, just to be with me, just to show His love and give me the chance to be His friend. Once I understand this, everything changes. Just to be with me, just to be with you, He gave everything. 

There is no possible way to repay this debt of love, but I pray that, by His grace, my daily response will be to fall at His feet and worship, saying, 'Master, take this life, it's all I have to offer. And I will gladly serve you in love, all the days of my life".

He Leadeth Me

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
2     He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
     he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
    for his name’s sake.

Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
(Psalm 23:1-4)

He Leadeth Me

He leadeth me, O blessèd thought!

O words with heav’nly comfort fraught!

Whate’er I do, where’er I be

Still ’tis God’s hand that leadeth me.

Refrain

He leadeth me, He leadeth me,

By His own hand He leadeth me;

His faithful follower I would be,

For by His hand He leadeth me.

Sometimes mid scenes of deepest gloom,

Sometimes where Eden’s bowers bloom,

By waters still, over troubled sea,

Still ’tis His hand that leadeth me.

Lord, I would place my hand in Thine,

Nor ever murmur nor repine;

Content, whatever lot I see,

Since ’tis my God that leadeth me.

The doctors told her she had only months to live. It was cancer, and there was much pain. 10 years later she is still here, still in daily pain. Recently her pastor stopped by to visit and she asked him, 'Why in the world is God keeping me alive? I can't do anything, I have to stay in bed most of the time. What is the purpose of keeping on?'. The pastor responded, 'Well, is there anything about your life that is different than before?' The lady immediately responded, 'Oh, yes. I am so much closer to Jesus!' As I listened to these words it struck a chord in me. Although my situation is certainly nothing compared to this woman's, I've been wondering lately why Jesus is keeping me here in this frustrating place I'm at in life. I feel like I'm not really doing anything useful, and I have been wondering what is the point. But when I ask myself the question, what is different about my life now than before? The immediate and joyous answer: I know Jesus like never before! The Bible is clear that God is never the author of pain and suffering, or trials and tribulations, but if we choose to let Him, He can use these situations to bring glorious blessings to us and draw us nearer and nearer to Him.

I've been reading lots of verses about waiting on God (hoping in Him, expecting great things from Him), and about trusting Jesus, but we all know it's often hard when we can't see the end from the beginning. Then I heard the words to this beautiful hymn. The author, Joseph Gilmore, writing in the darkest hour of the Civil War says, "God’s lead­er­ship is the one sig­nif­i­cant fact in hu­man ex­per­i­ence, that it makes no dif­fer­ence how we are led, or whi­ther we are led, so long as we are sure God is lead­ing us." The song also reminds me that it is God's own hand that is leading, His very own nail-scarred hand. This is not some impersonal guide who cares nothing for my welfare, but instead the Good Shepherd who gave His life so that He and I could be friends. It doesn't matter where He leads me, or how long it takes to get there, or which path He chooses, as long as I'm with Him I can be sure that I am safe. He never promised us an easy journey, but He does promise the joy, peace and wonderfulness of His company and guidance. As long as I have this, I have no need to fear.

Jesus, forgive me for spending so much time focusing on small and momentary troubles. This week help me fix my eyes on You and look up, content to follow wherever You lead, and thankful for your dear company along the way.

Jesus Only

I started this blog to share a little glimpse into the heart of my spiritual journey, in hopes that someone who read it might be encouraged or learn something useful. It's also a good way to chronicle the journey, so I can look back later and remember. But, actually, the main reason I started writing was because Jesus asked me to. He indicated that He wanted to do something really cool in my life, and sharing that with others was a way to bring glory to His Name. 

  But it's often hard, and my weakness is ever before me. The words never seem good enough, the thoughts never complete enough, I can never really seem to succeed. The process God is taking me through certainly has some high moments, but often it feels slow and painful. But, oh how I've grown! It's probably not easily detected by others, but God is indeed doing a mighty work in me, with still much more to do. He's given me a little more clarity, recently, as to what He's doing and I just wanted to share.

  I've been reading about this thing called radical surrender (also called true Love). The concept of surrender is nothing new to a Christian, but is it really possible? What does it really mean to give everything, EVERYTHING, over to Jesus? I wrote recently about the battle with self. Self absolutely must die before Jesus can take over. And He must have all of us, every single little bit. Make no mistake, this is an arduous process. It's something that must be done daily, but I also believe there is a first step of total surrender, the radical kind that goes against what the world says is "balanced". And it's precisely this that I have been praying and longing for: a relationship with Jesus so close that it's like you're one. Jesus reminded me that He is answering my prayer, it's just taking longer than I would like.

   First of all, Jesus has to get you to a place where you are ready to receive this incredible gift. And we can't do it ourselves. No effort on our part, no matter how sincere, can make this change in us. The only thing we can do is determine (choose) to serve Jesus. And even if we can't yet be willing to make that full surrender, we can be willing to be made willing. Then Jesus can do His glorious work of restoration in us. Ellen White says that "When Christ dwells in the heart, the soul will be so filled with His love, with the joy of communion with Him, that it will cleave to Him; and in the contemplation of Him, self will be forgotten" (Steps to Christ p. 31). Jesus has been showing me that I've been letting lots of things distract me. Not necessarily bad things, but distractions none the less. I want to put everything else aside and pour all my energies into making Jesus first, last, best, and only in my life. The other stuff will come, but my goal, my focus, my reason for living HAS to be Jesus only.

  I've still got a ways to go, but I just needed to stop and remind myself where I'm going and what I'm doing, and what is most important. I've learned that having Jesus as a friend, walking right beside me on the journey, makes all the difference in the world. It is Him and Him alone that makes it all worth it. There  certainly is joy in the journey, but the greatest rewards are yet to come, and once we get to experience them, I believe we will all agree that "heaven is cheap enough, at any price".

"let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. "(Hebrews 12:1, 2 NIV)

Arise, My Love

That Sabbath day must have been the hardest one in all of history. That Sabbath day while Jesus rested in the tomb. While all of heaven rejoiced because evil had been defeated, earth was shrouded in darkness and sadness at the loss of the Creator. Everything seemed hopeless. Seemingly, evil had indeed triumphed. The grave seemed to have won. He had given all, made the ultimate sacrifice, but in that moment it appeared not to be enough. Oh, but the glorious, glorious ending was yet to come! HE DIDN'T STAY DEAD!! He had already won the victory, He was just waiting on His Father's timing to declare it. 

   Early the next morning, just after the darkest part of the night had passed, an earthquake shook the ground as the mightiest angel in God's army sped to earth on an important mission. I can only imagine the excitement up in heaven as they awaited this grand moment. I love the scene as depicted by my favorite song:

ARISE MY LOVE

Not a word was heard

at the tomb that day.
Just shuffling of soldiers feet
as they guarded the grave.
One day, two days,
three days had past.
Could it be that Jesus
breathed His last?

Could it be that His Father
had forsaken him?
Turned his back on his son
dispising our sin.
All hell seemed to whisper
"Just forget Him, He's dead."
Then the Father looked down
to his son and he said.

Arise, My love.
Arise, My love.
The grave no longer
has a hold on you
No more death's sting
No more suffering
Arise... Arise... my love.

The Earth trembled
and the tomb began to shake,
and like lightening
from Heaven the stone was rolled away.
And as dead men
the guards they all stood there in fright
As the power of love
displayed its might
Then suddenly a melody
filled the air
Riding wings of wind,
it was everywhere
The words all creation
had been longing to hear
The sweet sound of victory,
so loud and clear.

Arise, my love.
Arise, my love.
The grave no longer has a hold on you.
No more death's sting
no more suffering
Arise... arise...

Sin, where are your shackles?
Death, where is your sting?
Hell; has been defeated.
The grave could not hold the king.

Arise, My love.
Arise, My love.
The grave no longer
has a hold on you
No more death's sting
No more suffering
Arise... Arise... Arise
Lyrics found <a href="http://phonelyrics.com">here</a>

Arise, my Love, called God to His Son. Come forth as the Victor and let everyone see that You are the resurrection and the life! Let everyone see the power of love at work.

   Those 3 days changed life for us, forever. I believe God offers a similar call to each one of us. From whatever tomb of darkness we might be lying in (maybe depression or anger or doubt. Or possibly loneliness, discouragement and failure), from whatever impossible situation we might find ourselves in, He calls to us. "Come forth my beloved one! The power of Love has set you free! You are no longer bound by the chains of sin, death has no more hold on you. Because of what Jesus did, because He loves you immeasurably, because  He conquered for you, the stone has been rolled away. Arise, my love. Arise from sin and shame and go forth in victory. Arise."

The battle of self

There once was a little boy who always took the biggest and best of everything for himself. Whether it be cake or pie or some other yummy food, he always raced to make sure he got the best. Well, one day his mother decided to teach him a lesson. She had his aunt make all kinds of delicious treats, but the ones that looked the best were hollow inside or filled with sour flavors. Of course the little boy learned his lesson and never took the biggest and best again. Sometimes I wish the battle with self was quite so easy to fight. Wherever you look, there always seems to be that struggle between our natural self-centeredness and the selflessness we aspire to. Then of course, you have the dueling "low self-esteem" vs healthy self-worth. On the one hand we've been taught (somewhere along the way) that putting yourself down is necessary to putting others first, or maybe that viewing yourself as "enough" is part of a healthy self-concept. Where is the balance? You've probably heard the saying that, just as the middle letter in the word sIn is "I", so self is the root of all evil. So, what to do? Well, guess I better just start trying harder to think of others more and myself less, just ignore my own needs, and put myself down. Oh, but then I feel rather worthless. Hmm, well in that case maybe I should be more assertive and stand up for my rights, reminding myself what a special person I am. Oops, back to being self-centered again. Ack, this is so hard! How can I get a good balance between talking care of myself and yet still being self- less and putting others first? How can I balance my self-esteem?

    Well the answer I've discovered as I've struggled with this is simple. You can't. In some sense or another, all the extremes I mentioned above are still focused on self. It's all about me and what I'm doing good or bad, how I feel, and how I appear to others. It seems to me that there is only one escape from this viscous cycle: to be made Christ-centered. Notice I said "made", because it's not even something you can do yourself. Christ alone must do it. All the good behavior in the world can't change a sinful heart. All of our efforts in this regard are pretty pointless. As Pastor Lee Vendon puts it, the presence of Jesus in your life simply pushes self and the bad habits right out of your life. Being filled with the presence of Jesus is the only thing that can conquer self. Another illustration I heard recently asked how you could get all the air out of a glass without shattering it. The only way is to fill it with water. The water displaces the air in the glass. Jesus is the water of life, and only He can displace the "self" in our life. 

   Make no mistake, we all know that the battle against self is difficult and daily. No one is going to get it completely figured out this side of heaven (least of all me). But, I can make the daily choice to seek Jesus - his friendship and presence - and to ask Him to help me learn to lean on Him a little more each day. The concept is really quite revolutionary, but the daily habit can seem unimpressive, and many days even ineffective. But never underestimate it, the power of keeping our eyes on Jesus, focusing on that relationship, finding pure joy and peace in His company.

Greater Things

I feel like the words of this song below express well the human story. God longs to give us greater things, things that will truely satisfy. But it often takes a lot of pain along the way. But hang in there, God is working on something beautiful and awesome. I pray for eyes of faith to look up and see God's "blessings in disguise".

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace

Comfort for family, protection while we sleep

We pray for healing, for prosperity

We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

And all the while, You hear each spoken need

Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near

What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear

We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near

We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love

As if every promise from Your word is not enough

And all the while, You hear each desperate plea

And long that we'd have faith to believe

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near

What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us

When darkness seems to win

We know that pain reminds this heart

That this is not,

This is not our home

It's not our home

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near

What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life

Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy

What if trials of this life

The rain, the storms, the hardest nights

Are your mercies in disguise

(Blessings, Laura Story)

Part 2 of Is Jesus Enough? (God answers)

Yesterday I wrote about the question, Is Jesus Enough? While pondering a specific decision along the same lines, God answered me in the following way, just thought I'd share:

Life is more than food, and the body is more than fancy clothes. Think about those crows flying over there: do they plant and harvest crops? Do they own silos or barns? Look at them fly. It looks like God is taking pretty good care of them, doesn’t it? Remember that you are more precious to God than birds! Which one of you can add a single hour to your life or 18 inches to your height by worrying really hard? If worry can’t change anything, why do you do it so much? Think about those beautiful wild lilies growing over there. They don’t work up a sweat toiling for needs or wants—they don’t worry about clothing. Yet the great King Solomon never had an outfit that was half as glorious as theirs! Look at the grass growing over there. One day it’s thriving in the fields. The next day it’s being used as fuel. If God takes such good care of such transient things, how much more you can depend on God to care for you, weak in faith as you are. Don’t reduce your life to the pursuit of food and drink; don’t let your mind be filled with anxiety. People of the world who don’t know God pursue these things, but you have a Father caring for you, a Father who knows all your needs. Since you don’t need to worry—about security and safety, about food and clothing—then pursue God’s kingdom first and foremost, and these other things will come to you as well. (Luke 12:23-31  the Voice translation)

Here are the lessons I gleaned from this answer:

1. No need to worry, God's got it all under control

2. God has proved His trustworthiness in many ways, one of which is His obvious care of nature

2. Not only is He going to take care of us, but take care of us better than we can even imagine (He's a great      Father!)

3. DON'T WORRY (it's pointless)

4. Since we don't have to spend our time worrying about the necessities of life, we can spend our time focusing on the relationship

Is Jesus Enough?

Sometimes life is just plain hard. It's usually not fair. It often doesn't turn out like we'd planned, and it seems like more often than not our youthful dreams lay broken against the cold, hard reality of life  on a sinful planet. But there's good news! We aren't destined to stay here. This is not home. It's just temporary. Life is indeed hard, but it's not meaningless and it's not hopeless. Some days are rougher than others, but Jesus is still the same. His love is constant, His arms are strong, and His grace is abundant. 

I think each person goes through a time in life (maybe several) where they have to choose whether or not to believe God is enough. When there seems to be absolutely no earthly solutions, is Jesus enough? When the ground shakes beneath you and the heavy winds blow, is Jesus really strong to save? Can He really take our brokenness and make it whole? The answer is an unequivocal yes. He is enough, whatever comes our way, Jesus is enough. More than enough. He is everything.

I believe God is asking me to share the ways He is working in my life as living proof of His loving care, and His ability to do more for us than we could ever imagine. Mostly I just see my weakness right now, but He has promised that nothing is impossible for Him. I'm inviting anyone who reads this to be a witness. Watch God take my weakness and turn it into His perfect strength. And know that He did it. Him alone. I'm certain it won't be as fast as I'd like, but one day this pilgrimage will be at an end and I can see my Jesus as I long to. It's hard to see right now, but I choose to trust and walk forward, resting in the sweet arms of Jesus, by His grace alone.

"Often your mind may be clouded because of pain. Then do not try to think. You know that Jesus loves you. He understands your weakness. You may do His will by simply resting in His arms." (Ministry of Healing 251.5)

Bloom where you're planted

When I was about 9 years old, my parents decided we were moving to the Midwest. I was pretty upset about this, but  I remember my mom found this article titled "bloom where you're planted". I can't remember the details now, but I remember being pretty moved by it. Basically this idea of letting God use you wherever you are.

When I was finishing up 7th grade, we moved again (back to the south!). Again, I wasn't happy about moving and leaving my friends. But God sure had some surprises in store for me. From meeting one if my my dearest friends in 8th grade, to all the opportunities and friendships I had in academy, to the awesome experiences I had in college; all huge blessings from God. 

When I was 20, God called me to serve him in El Salvador. The night before I left was one of the scariest moments of my life. I told God that I just couldn't do it. But He helped me and worked through me and blessed me beyond measure. When God let me know it was time to come back to the states, I have to admit there was a little kicking and screaming on my part. Noticing a pattern here?

Last year I decided it was time to return to overseas work. It didn't work out. I was pretty upset. But I grew a lot in that time, and turns out God had much greater blessings in store. 

A few months ago I decided again that it was time for me to go out. I had been wrestling back and forth with the idea for months. But again, it hasn't worked out, and I've been struggling to figure out what God wants me to do. For the moment anyway, I think I've decided that it's time to learn to bloom where God has planted me. I often feel like I'm in one of the hardest times of my life, but I can also say without a doubt it's  a time most filled with blessings and joys. God is so good to me, way better than I deserve, certainly. His love and care overwhelms me.

  I still feel restless sometimes, and I'm still not sure what I'm going to end up doing, but as I look back over my life, I see plentiful evidence that God has never left me. He has been working out His plan all along, though I'm often oblivious to it.

So I'm still trying to trust, working on focusing on my blessings, and walking by faith day by day. I want to allow God to use me, right where I am, right where He's put me. And I want to praise Him for giving me everything I need to do that.

He Touched Me

Was watching 3ABN while lying sick on the couch yesterday. A dramatization of the following story came on:

A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.” Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. “I am willing,” he said. “Be clean!” Immediately he was cleansed of his leprosy. (Matthew 8:2, 3 NIV)

Here was a man who had been labeled as unclean, a reject, separated from society and deprived of human touch. His future must have looked very grim. But then one day that all changed. He had probably heard the rumors, maybe even seen Jesus heal. But he had no assurance of what would happen to him if he dared to approach Jesus. It took guts to step out (vulnerability). But really, he had already lost what he held most dear, what more could be lost? So he dared to approach Jesus. And He said: if you are willing, you can cleanse me. He didn't ask Jesus to heal his leprosy, but rather recognized his need for something much deeper. He began by acknowledging his belief in Jesus' power and ability to cleanse and heal (I understand that the Greek word used refers to a cleansing from the inside out). So Jesus reached out and touched him. Touched him! He had not felt a kind touch in so long, and that's exactly what Jesus chose to do. The man's entire life was changed in an instant, by a touch. The touch of Jesus is full of power and healing and life. It can cleanse every aspect of life (physical, emotional, spiritual, etc). It changes things, it gives hope and grace and peace. 

I feel like this leper, unclean and needing Jesus to get rid of my diseased heart and mind. So I call out today: Jesus, you can cleanse me and make me whole. I bow before you, submit to your methods, and give you permission to work in my life.

Shackled by a heavy burden 
'Neath a load of guilt and shame 
Then the hand of Jesus touched me 
Now I am no longer the same. 
He touched me, oh He touched me 
And oh the joy that floods my soul 
Something happened and now I know 
He touched me and made me whole. 
Since I met the blessed Saviour 
Since He cleansed and made me whole 
I will never cease to praise Him 
I'll shout it while eternity rolls. 
He touched me, oh He touched me 
And oh the joy that floods my soul 
Something happened and now I know 
He touched me and made me whole...

(Song titled "He Touched Me" by Bill Gaither)